


Barista Boys and Bastards

by gaytriforce



Category: Love Simon (2018), Love Victor (TV 2020), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Felake, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Minor Sexual themes, Rated teen for language, Venji - Freeform, also they might fuck, but there was only one bed, growing relationship, healthy brother/sister relationship, long walks on the beach, nothing explicit tho, platonic m/m friendship, this is a house of jesus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24819775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaytriforce/pseuds/gaytriforce
Summary: After a lifetime of being everyone else’s rock, Victor finally has his own.The ending of Love, Victor after that nasty, nasty cliffhanger. Victor 3rd person POV, Vengi endgame, Felake endgame, all the good shit.
Relationships: Felix Westin/Lake Meriweather, Victor Salazar/Benji Campbell
Comments: 275
Kudos: 678





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Back with another one!
> 
> This fic is separate from my Love, Benji series, but it contains many of the same elements. Some plot details are changed, but if you like, you can consider One Year Later the epilogue of this one :)
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support, and enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor comes out, learns he has someone in his corner, and prepares to fix some loose ends.

“I’m gay.”

Victor watches his family’s faces. Pilar moves to stand next to him, her face stoic. She grabs his arm, squeezing once, anchoring them together as family.

His mother drops her wine glass, leaving it to spill across the carpet. His father’s mouth opens once, closes, then opens again.

Victor wills them to speak, to say something, do something. He can’t keep smoothing everything over. He needs them to fix something, for once.

“Mijo, what...” His mother starts, trailing off. “Where did this come from?”

He swallows, once. “I’ve been confused about it for awhile, and recently I’ve been through some stuff that helped me figure it out.”

“What about Mia? Was any of that even real?” His father asks, clenching his fingers around his wine glass, and Victor really wishes people would stop asking him that.

“Of course it was real. I love her, but I’m just not attracted to her that way. We can’t be a couple anymore.” He says, trying to carefully place his words.

His father throws his hands up in the air. “I don’t understand this. One minute, you’re bringing your girlfriend home to meet us, and the next minute, you’re telling us that you’re, you’re-“

“Armando.” His mother cuts him off. “Give him a chance to explain.”

“No.” Victor says, with more force than he expected. “I don’t have to explain anything. I’m gay. I’m attracted to men, that’s me.”

His father stutters, scrambling for words.  
“But we never expected- I mean, you never showed any sign-“

“You guys don’t get to act like this.” Pilar says, not yelling for once. Instead, her voice is steady, full of low rage.

“Victor messed up,” she continues. “But not for being gay. He’s made a lot of mistakes recently, but he needed to make them to find out who he is. I don’t even know everything, but I know that he was scared, and you guys don’t get to tell him how to act.”

“Pilar-“ her mother starts.

“No!” Pilar yells, finally losing her composure. “You guys don’t get to rip our family apart to keep your stupid secrets because it’s ‘best for us’ and then talk like that to Victor for doing what’s best for him!” 

Victor looks at his sister, stunned, and then down to her fingers, still clenched around his arm. He’s more than grateful for her in that moment.

“How dare you talk to your mother that way,” their father starts.

“No, no, Armando, let me.” She says. “Victor, Mia is a great girl, she doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. Does she even know? About... this?”

He looks at his feet, then back at his northern. “She knows.” He says, barely more than a whisper.

“I... cheated on her.” He continues, trying to ignore the betrayal on his parents’ faces.

“I meant to shut it down as soon as I knew who I was, but it got complicated with her home life, and that gave me an opportunity to be scared. But I met someone. Someone I care about, really deeply, and I can’t lose him. So no matter what you say, I’m going to see him.”

His father looks furious, his mother lost. “Who even is this... boy?”

“He was at my party. He was with someone else at the time, but he’s not anymore. I want to be with him, and I think he wants me, too.”

His parents have nothing to say to that, staring blankly at him as if he’s someone they’ve never met. Victor opens his mouth to speak again, but a knock at the door cuts him off.

“I’ll get it.” Victor says, his adrenaline almost gone, leaving him exhausted.

He opens the door to see Felix, smiling and holding a gift card.

“Hey, dude! I know you’ve had a crazy night, so I thought we could take this Olive Garden gift card out on the town. My treat. Although, I guess it does technically belong to you.”

Victor stares at him, panicked, and shakes his head almost imperceptibly.

“Oh...” Felix says, taking in the scene around them. “Do you need help?” He whispers.

“Let’s go.” Victor says brightly, a snap decision.

“Oh, no you don’t. You’re coming right back here, and we’re going to have a talk-“ his father begins.

Victor laughs harshly, cutting him off. “I snuck off to New York without you knowing, I think I can go to the Olive Garden with Felix. Pilar, you okay?”

His parents’ mouths hang wide open, but Pilar just shrugs, assuming her bored look that normally hides something worse.

“Yeah. I’m just going to go to bed.” She says, bypassing her mother when she holds out a hand to her.

“Don’t. I don’t even want to look at either of you right now.” She says.

Felix suddenly grabs Victor, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“Do you have a key?”

“Uhh, what?” Victor responds.

“Do you have a key to your apartment in your pocket?” Felix asks frantically, eyes darting to Victor’s parents, distracted behind him.

“Yes?” Victor says, before being roughly pulled out into the hall with the door shut quickly behind him.

“C’mon. Run.” Felix says, grabbing Victor’s arm and pulling him down the stairs of their building and into his car.

He shuts the door and locks it, panting hard. Victor stares at him.

“What was that?” He asks.

“I should be asking you that. Are you okay?” Felix says, finally able to focus on the problem at hand.

“Yeah. No. I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s get out of here before they report your vehicle as one belonging to a child kidnapper.”

Felix looks confused for a moment before shaking his head and starting the car.

“Do you actually want to go to Olive Garden?” He asks.

Victor almost emotionally checks out, not wanting to face what’s going on in his head.

“Yeah, I guess.” He mumbles, before an idea comes into focus. “Wait, can you drive to Brasstown?” He asks, sitting up straight.

“You got it, buddy. I should probably play my cheer-up playlist.” Felix responds, starting the music.

When they pull up, the lights are still on, just like Victor knew they’d be. Felix makes the connection right as he parks the car.

“Wait... Benji? Did something happen? Oh my god, did you kiss him again?” 

Victor smiles despite himself. “Yeah. Well, he kissed me. We kissed each other? It happened twice again.” 

Felix claps him on the back. “Good for you! But what about...”

Victor grimaces. “I don’t want to talk about that. Know it’s over, I’m not doing anything behind her back anymore. I have to talk to her after this.”

“Right. One battle at a time. Go get him, cowboy!” Felix whoops, a little too loud for his tiny car.

Victor steps out of the car and almost right into Sarah.

“Ah! What are you doing here? Actually, I don’t care. Something’s gotten into Benji, he won’t stop acting like a Disney Princess or something. Deal with him.” She says, running off as quickly as she appeared and driving away.

Victor tries not to figure out whether or not that was homophobic as he opens the door to the small coffee shop, seeing Benji there, washing the counters.

For a moment, he just observes, leaning against the doorframe. Benji looks so happy, humming to himself, small smile on his face. Victor can’t help but wonder if it’s because of him. He hopes it is.

Benji has the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up, his jacket on the back of a chair. His hair is in his face, moving as he works on wiping down the machine. 

“Hey.” Victor says, just loud enough to hear. Benji gives a small start, smiling larger as soon as he sees him.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, resting on his arms, propped up on the counter. 

“Funny, Sarah just asked me that, right before she called you a Disney Princess.” Victor says, reveling in the sound of Benji’s laugh that follows.

“Is it weird that I missed you in the hour it’s been since I’ve seen you?” Benji asks, his expression a mixture of hopeful and a little scared.

“I missed you too.” Victor says, and then they’re walking into each other’s arms. 

“What’s wrong?” Benji asks. “You’re doing the thing with your eyebrows.”

Victor looks at him, confused. “What thing?”

“The thing you’re doing right now.” Benji chuckles. “What’s going on?”

Victor hesitates, then spills everything. “Long story short, Mia saw us together, and then my parents told us they’re separating, and then I came out to a mixed response, so I’ve kinda been through it in the last hour.”

Benji pulls away from him, visibly concerned. “Fuck, Victor, are you okay? Sorry, that’s dumb. Is there anything I can do?” 

To his own horror, a single tear spills down Victor’s cheek. Benji reaches up, wiping it away.

He steps up on his toes, putting his chin on Victor’s shoulder.

“You’re perfect. Everything about you is beautiful. Anyone who can’t see that is stupid, or at the very least, misguided.”

Victor laughs a little through his tears.

“And I like you. A hell of a lot. Like, a massive amount, and I really wanna take you on a date after your life stops falling apart.”

“I would love that.” Victor responds, voice cracking.

“Then it’s a date. All I’ve wanted for the last three months, anyway.” Benji says, leaning up to kiss Victor on the cheek.

He turns his head, meeting Benji’s lips with his own, and he sighs into Benji’s mouth. They press into each other, holding on tight.

“Wow. You’re good at that.” Benji breathes, laughing into Victor’s ear.

“I’m pretty sure that’s all you.” Victor responds, chuckling a little alongside him.

“Did you need anything? I’m happy to stay here for however long, but I do need to get away and lock the doors before I get distracted again.” Benji asks softly, tracing lines on Victor’s palm.

“No, I actually left Felix in the car, so he’s probably written a novel by now. I wish I could stay here with you.”

They look out the window together to see Felix, giving them an enthusiastic thumbs up from the car.

They laugh, foreheads pressing together.

“I will actually call you tomorrow. Schedule that date? You’ve got a lot to plan.” Victor teases.

“Whenever you can.” Benji says easily, turning his head up to capture Victor in another kiss, soft and simple.

“If you keep saying goodbye like that, I’m gonna have to change my schedule.” Victor jokes, squeezing Benji’s hand goodbye.

“Count on it.” He responds, squeezing back, and Victor walks backwards the entire way to the car, just to keep looking at him.

“Okay, damn, was that Queer Eye, because I queer CRIED!” Felix says, earning a look from Victor. “Too much? Okay. Where to next, Captain?”

Victor takes a deep breath. “I need you to take me to Mia’s house.”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor ties up loose ends, gets it over and done with with his mother, and cries a lot.

Victor looks up at Mia’s mansion, terrified to smooth things over. 

“It’ll be okay. Just be honest with her.” Felix says, placing a hand on his shoulder and offering a smile.

Victor inhales sharply. “Yeah. Thanks.”

He pulls out his phone and texts Mia.

I’m outside. Can we talk?

The bubbles show her to be typing almost immediately, but they go away, leaving him on read. He waits for roughly five minutes, leaning on the door of Felix’s car. He’s almost given up when her front door opens and she steps out, still in her dress.

His heart drops at her tear streaked face, makeup messily wiped off her cheeks. She looks at him with such anger that he almost staggers back.

“What do you want, Victor?” She says, crossing her arms. 

“Mia… I’m so, so sorry.” He starts, hurting deeply at her expression. “I’m just going to explain everything, starting at the beginning.”

She nods at him, once, closing off her emotions to listen.

“First, I have to tell you something. I’m gay.”

He tries to read her face, coming up with nothing.

“But what we had was real. I didn’t know, not really, in the beginning. I was questioning for a while, but I thought I was attracted to girls. I really thought I liked you, like that. And when we kissed, I was happy. But I now realize that for me, it’s more than happy. And when it got physical, I realized that I wasn’t attracted to you. You’re probably the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, and that made me realize that I don’t like girls.”

She takes in a shaky breath, meeting his eyes.

“When I went on the work trip that night, Benji and I were going to sleep in the same bed. For a while, I had been ignoring my feelings for him. I kissed him that night.”

He looks at her, and a single tear runs down her face.

“I didn’t mean to. It was spur-of-the moment, and I realize how wrong it is. He pushed me off and changed locations to get away from me, and I was so confused about everything, I needed help. I went to visit Simon Spier in New York, and he’s been helping me a lot. I’d been messaging him for some time about my feelings, and that night, I knew I needed to tell you.”

She shifts her stance, looking at him plainly.

“I came over that night after the trip to tell you everything, but then your dad and Veronica came home, and I had no idea what to do. I wanted to be there for you, but I know now that I should’ve told you and let you decide who you wanted help from.”

“I planned on telling you tomorrow, as to not ruin the dance. But I wrote an apology note to Benji, to tell him what I did wouldn’t happen again, and Pilar found it. She thought it was another girl, and she started questioning people at the dance. Earlier tonight, Andrew heard me talking to Benji in the bathroom, and I told him I was going to come clean to you.”

“Benji had a fight with his boyfriend over me, and they broke up. I talked to him outside the school and… that’s when you saw us. I got home, and my parents told me that they’re separating. I came out right then.” He lets out a large breath, scared to look at her face.

She stares at him for a moment, tears streaming down her face. “Wow.” She exhales.

“And I just want you to know that I love you. You’re my favorite person, and I don’t want to lose you. But I have to be honest, and if that means you don’t want to be friends, I understand.”

She takes a breath. “I appreciate that a lot. And I love you too, I don’t want to lose you either. You hurt me a lot, but I do forgive you. However, I’m not willing to forget just yet. I need some time to process. You just dumped a lot of information on me. But we will be friends again, and I do forgive you.”

He takes a cautious step towards her. “That’s probably more than I deserve. Thank you. Take your time.” He opens his arms hesitantly, and she walks into them. They stand there for a moment, crying together, until she gently nudges him. 

“I should probably get back inside before Dad and Veronica come out with a machete.” She jests, wiping her eyes.

“Okay. Have a good night.” He lets go of her and watches her walk away, back up to her house, outside of his heart forever. He feels awful, but also lighter. Somehow freer to date Benji and be himself without holding anyone back.

Victor open’s Felix’s car door and steps in, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“You alright?” Felix asks, pulling out of Mia’s driveway. 

“I think I will be.” Victor says, pulling out his phone to check his texts, stomach dropping at the ten missed messages from Pilar.

Where are you?

Are you coming home soon?

Mom and Dad are yelling at each other

I’m taking Adrean downstairs

We’re going to wait for you here

Holy shit, Dad just came down with all his stuff and left

He says he’s going to a hotel

I’m putting Adrean back to bed it’s like midnight

Please come home tonight

Mom is crying

He stares at his phone. “Felix, can we go home?” He asks, trying to keep his voice from breaking.

“Sure. Mom’s probably wondering where I am, anyway. Hey, what are you looking at?”

He gulps, desperate to get home. “Pilar texted.”

Felix looks over, concerned. “What’s going on?”

“My dad left.” Victor responds, almost inaudibly.

“What?” Felix balks, switching between looking at Victor and the road. “Holy fuck, why?”

“They told us they were separating right before you showed up, god, I don’t want to talk about it anymore, can we please just go?” He breaks out into tears again, this time full and heavy, leaving him gasping for air.

“Yes, oh my god, okay, we’ll be there soon. Victor? Talk to me, Victor?”

He can’t stop crying, barely breathing through bouts of panic. Everything over the course of the night hits him at once.

“I just- feel- like- oh god. Like, so overwhelmed?” He chokes out, burying his face in his hands and breathing in deeply, hiccuping a little.

“Makes sense, you’ve been through a lot tonight. You don’t have to talk about it, but just try to breathe through it, okay?” Felix’s voice is oddly soothing and Victor’s breathing eases, allowing him to grab a tissue and blow his nose.

He calms after a moment, suddenly feeling pathetic. “Sorry about that.” He apologizes awkwardly.

“Don’t apologize, it’s fine. I used to get panic attacks in middle school, so I get it.” Felix keeps his eyes on the road as he pulls into their parking lot, putting the car in park.

Victor doesn’t know how to express what he’s feeling, so he simply leans over the gearshift, puts his arms around Felix, and says “Thank you.”

Felix holds on just as tight, responding “Never a problem.”

Victor’s hands shake as he moves to unlock the door to the apartment. Just as he’s turned the key in the lock, the door is pulled open from the inside, and he sees his mother standing there.

“Oh, mi amor.” She says, immediately wrapping him in a tight hug. “We were so worried when you ran off.”

He stands there, his back ramrod straight, uncertain of how to respond.

She pulls back, her hands on his arms. “My god, look at you. Go sit on the couch, I’ll get you some water.”

He sits while she gets the water, his fingers tracing patterns in the fabric.

His mother comes back, places the glass in his hand, and addresses him tenderly.

“What you told us earlier… it was a shock. So soon after the decision your father and I made, we didn’t know how to react at first. But I want you to know that I love you, no matter what. Your father… he needs some time. But he loves you very much, and I know he’ll come around.”

He looks up at his mother’s worried face, and promptly bursts into tears for the third time in an hour.

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. I know you’ve been through a lot, and we haven’t been who we need to be for you. I promise, I’m going to try better.”

He sniffs, trying to blink the tears away. “Where did Dad go?”

Her brow furrows, and Victor realizes it must be this same expression that Benji saw in him earlier.

“He packed a bag and went to go get a hotel room. I don’t know yet, but earlier we talked about him going to stay with your aunt in Midtown. He wasn’t going to leave right away, but I told him I didn’t want him around you until he understands how much he’s hurt you.”

Victor just looks at his mother, her face deeply concerned, and wonders how his life has gotten to this point.

He can just make out Pilar walking in through the background.

“Pilar, I’m sorry, I-“ he starts. She holds up a hand, cutting him off.

“You don’t look like you could take another explanation tonight. Go to bed.” She says, her face set in a frown. But he recognizes the concern in her eyes, so similar to their mother’s, so he cracks a half smile as she walks away.

His mother places a hand on his arm. “Honey, do you want to talk about what happened?” 

He exhales, long and slow. “Not right now. At least, not all of it.”

She nods, worry still etched into her face. Then she smiles at him, elbowing him softly. “Is there a boy I should know about?” 

He laughs, blushing. “Yeah, there is.”

She squeals a bit. “Ooh! What’s his name, what does he look like, etcetera. Wait, you said we’ve met him? Oh, Victor, not that weird kid from down the hall.”

He laughs again, smiling at his mother’s proposition. “No, not Felix. His name is Benji. He was there with a guy from his band. They were dating then, but they aren’t anymore.”

“That’s exciting! Are you officially together?” She asks, nudging him in the side.

“Not yet, but I think that conversation is coming soon. He wants to take me out.”

She nods assent. “Well, you have my blessing. I think you can have a break from your curfew this weekend. Just make good choices.” 

He blinks, surprised. “Thanks, Mom.”

“No problem, honey. Now, I’m going to bed, unless you need me?” When he shakes his head, she kisses his forehead and gets up to walk away.

“Goodnight, Victor. I’m proud of you.”

He lies back on the couch, beginning to process everything that’s happened. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and opens up his messages.

You up? He sends.

A response comes immediately from Benji: Is this an invitation? 

Sadly, not a booty call, Victor writes.

Was just about to go to bed. What’s up? Benji writes back.

Call me? Victor sends.

“Hey.” He says softly as soon as Benji picks up. 

“Hi.” Benji says, and Victor can hear the eagerness in his voice. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I went and talked to Mia. Everything is going to be okay, I think.” 

Benji exhales, and Victor realizes how bad he must have felt, for both of them.

“That’s good. You probably feel a lot better.”

“Actually, I feel kinda horrible, but I think that’s part of it.” Victor chuckles into the phone.

“Good for you. I can’t date a constantly weighed down outcast. Who will I write songs about?” Benji sighs sarcastically, and Victor’s heart lifts at the word  _ date. _

“God, I miss you.” Victor says, almost involuntarily.

“I just saw you like an hour ago,” Benji laughs. “But I know what you mean.”

“I wanted to know if you want to plan something soon. My mom’s giving me no curfew this weekend, so we can stay out as late as you want.” Victor goes back to tracing patterns in the couch, wishing he could see Benji’s face.

He can hear Benji smile. “Yeah, that sounds good. Let me take you out tomorrow.”

“Okay, my knight in shining armor, what time should I pick you up?” Victor says, only half-joking.

“I wouldn’t be much of a host if I made you drive, would I? My suspension technically expired at midnight, so I’m a free man. I’ll be by at five. It’s a bit of a drive, so we probably won’t be back until late.”

Victor mentally makes note of the details. “Sure you don’t want me to drive? At least part of the way?” 

Benji scoffs. “I made you drive to and from Willacoochee, and half of that was in awkward silence. I think I can handle a couple of hours.”

Victor laughs easily, thinking of the way Benji’s hair falls in his face. “It’s a date, then.”

“It’s a date.” Benji responds, and the silence holds for a second, happy and full of buzzing energy.

“Are you smiling as wide as I am right now?” Victor asks.

“Victor, I can guarantee you that I am actually smiling twice as widely as you right now, so you’d better catch up.”

Victor imagines him giving a cocky grin. “I’m getting started on that right now.”

Benji yawns quietly, and Victor remembers that it’s one in the morning and they both went to school today.

“Go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow. Talk to you in the morning, even.” 

“Okay, but I’m holding you to that promise.” Benji responds, his voice sleepy and happy.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less. Now, hang up, before I get sucked back into conversation with your stupid face.”

Benji laughs, low and easy. “Would it be cliché to say you hang up?”

“Shut up.” Victor laughs. “Goodnight.” He whispers.

“Goodnight.” Benji says, and Victor forces himself to press the hang up button.

He types out a message: No, you hang up!

The response comes right away: You’d better keep your word!

Victor smiles all the way into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I’m just now realizing that in the first chapter I accidentally left in a typo of Pilar saying “you gays” instead of “you guys” and that honestly cracks me up. Please leave comments if you’d like as they fuel my soul. Thank you for your support so far!


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Benji takes Victor on a date, and we learn that he's not the only romantic in the pair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some similar moments to my first Vengi fic, I'm not gonna lie, but I just imagined them talking about certain things in a certain way. Hopefully, they're different enough to be unique. 
> 
> I was listening to "Touch" and "The Fault In Our Stars" by Troye Sivan when I wrote the end of this chapter, and I suggest you give those a listen during the date portion of this chapter if you'd like to hear the vibe I was going for! Also, Benji, might sing these songs in the future (side-eye emoji)

Chapter Three

Victor blearily opens his eyes, blinking to see the time on his alarm clock. 11:31.

He’s ready to turn over and go back to sleep when he hears his phone buzz on his nightstand, so he moves to pick it up.

He half smiles at the text from Felix.

My main man! How are you feeling?

He quickly responds, letting Felix know he’s okay and that they’ll talk later.

He scrolls to his next unread text, one from Benji. He fully smiles at that, opening the message.

Good morning :)

Victor types back. 

  
  


Good afternoon ;)

He’s contemplating the implications of that winky face when Benji responds.

Ready for tonight?

Ready as I can be while having no idea where we’re going. Is there a dress code for this mystery event?

Wear whatever you want, we’ll be outside

Oh? Should I bring my adventure vest?

Please tell me that’s not real

  
  


Victor laughs, a real laugh, and turns back to his phone.

  
  


100% real, 100% dad vibes

The only thing you need to bring is a good playlist for the drive. A good playlist does not include baby shark, by the way

  
  


Victor smiles at his phone for a moment, taking in what’s really happening to him.

  
  


In YOUR (bad) opinion it doesn’t 

I will take your phone away.

  
  


Victor doesn’t get a chance to respond before Benji sends another text.

  
  


I have to go to work now to explain to Sarah that I am actually not changing locations and then probably work for five hours to apologize for making her do paperwork

See you later :)

  
  


Victor’s smiling as he responds.

  
  


See you later ;)

  
  


He flops back onto his bed, glancing at the clock to see that only six minutes have elapsed. God, it’s going to be a long day until five o’clock. 

  
  


At four, he changes twice. Fifteen minutes later, he steals cologne that his dad left behind, smells it, and immediately puts it back. Fifteen minutes after that, Benji texts him for his address, and he responds so fast he types it wrong four times.

At 4:58, when Benji knocks on the door to his apartment, Victor already has his hand on the knob. He opens the door, and Benji is standing there looking like someone out of a movie with his button down thrown over a t-shirt.

“Hey.” He says, eyes wide and bright as he smiles at Victor. “You ready to go?”

“Mhm.” Victor says, clasping his hands behind his back, uncertain in his ability to not grab Benji and kiss him breathless. 

Benji’s eyes focus somewhere behind Victor, and he turns to see his mother standing there, smiling a small smile. “Benji, right?”

Benji straightens his back, almost subconsciously. “Yep. It’s nice to meet you again, Mrs. Salazar.”

Victor glares daggers at his mother. She laughs at him and looks at the two of them. “Well, have fun boys! Victor, you’d better be quiet if you come in after your brother is in bed.”

He’s already grabbing Benji’s hand, pulling him out the door. “Yup, bye Mom!” He calls, shutting and locking it firmly behind him.

“I wanted to make a good impression on your mom!” Benji whines, still being pulled through the hallway by Victor.

“That’s dumb. She already likes you. Everyone likes you.” Victor responds.

“What?” Benji asks, his cheeks coloring.

“Oh, shut up.” Victor says, pulling him in for a kiss. Benji presses him up against the wall of the hallway, and it’s perfect for a moment.

That is, until they hear someone clear their throat behind them, and see Felix standing there, devilish grin on his face.

“Don’t mind me, boys. Just passing by.” He holds his hand out for a high five, and Victor glares at him, but he quietly gives him a high five. 

Victor ignores his hardcore blush and turns to Benji. “Sorry about him.” He mumbles, picking up a piece of his hair and playing with it.

Benji grins. “It’s actually pretty funny.” 

They walk through the apartment building and down the stairs with their hands intertwined, both subconsciously letting go once they reach the parking lot. Victor is grateful for that. 

Benji opens the passenger door for him and gestures for him to get in. “After you.” He says with a smile.

“Ever the gentleman.” Victor responds, getting inside Benji’s car. “Am I allowed to know where we’re going yet?”

“Nope.” Benji says, looking mischievous. “Still a surprise.”

Victor hums. “Should I queue up the music, then?”

“You have a lot to live up to.” Benji says. “I mean, Call Me Maybe? Truly a bop.”

“Someone seemed to think so when he played it with his band.” Victor teases.

“Maybe he was just trying to impress a boy.” Benji responds, looking at Victor for a solid moment before starting the GPS and pulling out of the parking lot.

Victor internally swears that he’d be able to quit his job if he had a penny for every time this boy has made him blush.

“Hope he’s cute.” He responds, scrolling through his phone to look for the playlist.

“He’s fucking hot. I have a thing for jocks.” Benji says, and Victor almost chokes on air.

“Okay, first of all, being on a shitty basketball team does not make someone a jock.” Victor starts.

Benji shoots him a look. “And second of all?”

Victor swallows, trying to keep himself from smiling too hard. “I guess I could say I have a thing for short guys in cover bands.”

Benji makes an indignant sound. “5’8” is not short! You’re just tall!”

“5’11” is like, average.” Victor replies with sarcastic arrogance. “Besides, it’s really funny to have to get stuff off high shelves for you at work.”

“God, Sarah was crazy this morning when I told her I wasn’t transferring.” Benji starts.

“Oh?” Is all Victor has to say before he’s listening to Benji rant about Sarah, trying not to laugh at how cute Benji is when he’s mad.

“And then she was like, ‘You just said you didn’t want to work here anymore, why are you changing your mind?’ and what did I say? I said ‘because y’all pay me better.’”

Victor laughs at that, liking hearing a bit of a southern accent come out in Benji’s usual neutral voice.

“Ugh, if I told her the real reason, she’d probably watch us all day with her beady eyes to make sure we don’t start making out.”

“That would help. I don’t know how I’m supposed to platonically work with you every day.” Victor jokes.

Benji turns to look at him, one hand on the wheel. “I mean, we did it before.”

“Yeah, but, everything was different then.”

They both quietly reflect on where they are for a moment.

“For the record, I’m pretty glad it’s changed.” Victor says.

“Me too.” Benji responds, and they stare at each other for a second, soft and waiting, until the previously quiet music on the playlist switches to a much louder song.

“What the fuck?” Benji laughs, turning the volume down. “Whataya Want from Me? You’ve had Adam Lambert on your phone this whole time? I should’ve known you were gay.”

Victor laughs. “That one wasn’t supposed to be on there, I don’t even know why it’s on my phone.”

“Oh please,” says Benji. “You totally meant for it to be there.”

He starts to dramatically sing along, causing Victor to snort with laughter. He joins in.

“Just don’t give up! I’m working it out! Please, don’t give in! I will let you down,” they belt out.

At one point in the song, Victor stops singing, simply enjoying the sound of Benji’s voice. He follows along with the song quietly, not quite a joke anymore.

“It messed me up,” he vocalizes, and Victor smiles at him from his right, silently in awe.

They drive for hours, along back roads and highways, talking about anything and everything.

“Okay, close your eyes.” Benji says. “We’re almost there.”

“You’re really committed to secrecy, huh?” Victor says, but he closes his eyes, smiling at all the effort Benji put into their date.

“Yes, sir.” Benji says, and Victor realizes he sounds a little nervous.

“I’d reach over and put my hand on your arm, but I have no idea where it is.” Victor deadpans, and he hears Benji trying to hold in a laugh.

“Okay, okay,” he says once the car is parked. “Stay there. I’ll come lead you to where we’re going, it’s only a couple hundred yards away.”

“People are going to think we’re filming a blind challenge YouTube video, but okay.”

He hears the door open and feels Benji’s hand gripping his arm as he steps out of the car. 

“Nah, there’s no one here this late. There are a bunch of clubs and stuff open, so people would rather be there on a Saturday night.”

“Oh, rather be there than where?” Victor asks. 

Benji gives him a poke. “Not that easy. Okay, just stand there for a second.”

He decides to take a careful step in one direction, and almost falls over at the sudden shift into a softer ground beneath his feet. He laughs, eyes still closed, and calls out to Benji.

“Benji? Is this quicksand? Am I going to die?”

“This is why I told you to stay where you were, idiot!” He’s aware of the sound of Benji’s voice getting gradually closer. “Okay, you can open now.”

Victor opens his eyes, blinking for a moment, and then taking in the scene in front of him. They’re on a tiny beach, surrounded by a thickly wooded area. There’s a picnic blanket with a basket on it, right where the dry sand ends.

He’s still processing the scene when Benji talks. “Too much?” He asks nervously, and when Victor turns to him, he can see the excitement mixed with anxiety in his eyes. He thinks back to the last time Benji planned a nice date, and realizes that jackass Derek probably didn’t appreciate it.

“Holy shit, Benji this is… it’s perfect. I love it.” He leans over and looks into Benji’s eyes, and his eyes are sparkly. “Didn’t I tell you that sunset is my favorite time of day?”

“The colors are the sharpest according to you.” Benji whispers. “I really want to kiss you.”

Victor knows why he’s asking. Because they’re in public. Because even though there’s no one around, he’s not out. Because this is Georgia.

And he adores him for asking, but he doesn’t want to have to hide anymore.

“So kiss me.” He says, and he does.

And they’re standing on the beach, just before sunset, the colors highlighting their faces as they move together. Victor wishes someone would take a picture of this moment, because just before he closed his eyes, the way Benji looked was stunning.

It’s soft at first, all pressure and breath and learning how they fit together. It’s nothing like their first kiss, which was on a whim, pure adrenaline, unsure. Now they’re sure, and Victor loves the way Benji doesn’t hold back.

He heard something once somewhere, and now he gets it. Benji kisses the way he sings, and Victor almost can’t decide which he prefers.

Except.

Benji’s hands are under his shirt, warm on his waist, and Victor sighs into his mouth.

They have all the time in the world now.

After about five minutes of this, Benji nudges Victor in the side and gently pulls back. “As much as I love this, we do have a picnic to eat.” Victor laughs into him, kissing the spot where his collarbone meets his shoulder.

“Sure, let’s eat.” He says with an easy smile, letting Benji pull him by the hand to the picnic blanket.

They eat sandwiches with their bare feet in the sand, getting lapped at by the waves. Victor learns that Benji’s ticklish and spends a fair amount of time exploring that concept, leading to giggles, eventually leaving them lying back on the blanket, staring up at the sky.

As the last tendrils of the sun set, Benji buries his face in Victor’s shoulder. “I like this jacket.” He says, his voice muffled.

“Simon Spier gave it to me,” Victor says, almost without thinking.

Benji sits up. “Hold on. What?”

Victor laughs, pulling Benji back down onto his chest. “We’re friends. I didn't know who I was, so I sent him some angsty Instagram messages, and he actually listened. I snuck off to New York to see him a little while ago. It’s when I really came out to people for the first time. There was a drag show involved."

“I can’t believe you know Creekwood’s gay legend. Wait, did you tell him about me?” Benji asks.

“All about you. I believed the words I used were ‘Benji and his tight t-shirts distracting me.’” Victor responds, playing with Benji’s hair.

“Did you tell him yet, that we’re, y’know?” Benji says.

Victor breathes for a moment. “I didn’t know exactly what to tell him.” He says honestly.

“Well… you should tell him that I like you a crazy amount, and that I want to be your boyfriend.” Benji says very seriously, working hard to keep his expression solemn.

Victor laughs, part relief, part amusement, part joy. “I’ll have to tell him that I like you even more, then, and that I want to be your boyfriend even more.”

A huge smile breaks across Benji’s face. “I’m all in if you are. But take your time. We don’t have to tell anyone right away.”

“No, I want to,” Victor says. “But not at school just yet. I want to be able to kiss you whenever I want, but I don’t want Mia to be under too much fire just yet.”

Benji nods, understanding. “I get that.”

Victor thinks for a moment before pulling out his phone. “I know we were joking, but there’s definitely someone we should tell.”

Benji raises his eyebrows. “Oh?” He says, just before Victor leans down, kissing him suddenly, and taking a picture with flash. 

“Okay, keep doing that. And I need you to send me that.” 

“First, to Simon.” Victor says, quickly sending the picture, no context. Simon reads it, and he’s immediately typing.

WHAT

VICTOR!

Justin says “good for you, gayby” and Kim says “HEART EYES EMOJI”

Update: Bram says congrats and also that you need a haircut

Victor laughs, reading the messages off to a dumbfounded Benji.

“I still can’t believe Simon Spier knows who I am.” He says, looking shocked.

Victor laughs again, sitting up. “Come look at the picture.”

They lean over his phone screen together, staring at the image of them together.

“Wow.” Benji says after a moment. “That’s like softcore porn.”

“We can do better than that.” Victor says, and suddenly they’re kissing again.

This time is faster, more desperate, while still keeping the easy familiarity that Benji brings to everything. Victor presses his lips once to Benji’s jaw, earning a small gasp, and he feels like he’s in heaven.

Things heat up as they lie back down on the picnic blanket, mouths on each other in the darkness. When Victor’s shirt has ridden so far up it’s almost off, they simultaneously pull away, looking at each other in the dim light the moon gives off.

Panting slightly, Victor smiles at Benji. “I don’t think I’m quite ready for… that… just yet.”

Benji scoffs. “You thought I was trying to seduce you on the beach? Sand is so gross, Victor.” He says, and they laugh together.

“But seriously,” he continues, his voice taking on a deeper tone. “Whatever you want. I don’t want to rush you into anything.”

“Don’t want to rush your  _ boyfriend  _ into anything, you mean.” Victor corrects, and they both grin at the way the word sounds on his lips.

Victor’s phone buzzes again, Simon asking him for details. 

“You still have to send me that picture.” Benji says, leaning his head onto Victor’s shoulder.

“Okay, but you have to let me take one for your profile picture that is less ‘porn-like.’”

“Deal.” Benji says, sitting up. Victor takes a picture of him with flash, and when he goes to set it in his contact, he just looks at it for a second.

Benji’s flushed, his hair messy and tousled. But the best part of the picture is his smile. It’s not posed, or even caught in a laugh, it’s just a smile that says hey, I’m here, and I like you.

Victor sends both pictures to Benji with a heart emoji and Benji snorts. “That’s what you were looking at? Here, let’s take a better one.” He turns his phone and takes a simple shot of the two of them together, smiling under the moonlight.

“I like that one.” Victor whispers.

“Yeah, well, I like you.” Benji whispers back.

“Gross.” Victor responds in a monotone voice, and they laugh, falling into each other’s arms in the sand, under the moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this chapter! Fun anecdote: @Cyberbulky wanted me to write that "Benji kisses like a slam dunk" when we were pondering how to get that scene to mirror Simon and Bram, and I snorted so hard my throat hurts. Simon writes that Bram "kisses like Elliot Smith sings" and we tried to translate that to Victor, leading to a High School Musical-esque metaphor of shitty proportions. I guess Victor needs to get his head in the game.
> 
> As always, if you enjoyed this, please leave me a comment as they fuel my soul! Questions, comments and constructive criticism are what keep me going :)


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor ends a date, talks to his mom, and gets some much needed Simon wisdom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @Cyberbulky for your continued help with Spanish phrases!

Victor yawns, leaning his head onto the side of the car. 

“Tired?” Benji asks.

“No way… just… resting my eyes.” He responds, snuggling into the seatbelt.

Benji laughs at him, letting his hands fall, off the wheel, stuck in traffic. “Where’s your jacket?”

“In the trunk.” Victor mumbles. 

Benji shakes his head, taking off his button down and putting it over Victor, who almost immediately turns red. 

“Smells like you.” He says, struggling to pull the shirt up further onto him.

“Take a nap.” Benji says, reaching over and placing the shirt better.

Victor yawns again, trying to stay awake. “I want to spend time with you.” He protests.

“We just spent like four hours together. Go to sleep, I’ll wake you up when we’re close.”

“ _ Before _ we’re close.” Victor says, missing the way Benji smiles softly at him.

“Okay. Before.” Benji says, whispering something else that Victor can’t quite catch before he falls asleep.

Victor wakes some time later, hearing Benji humming along to music. He pretends to be asleep for a moment, listening to him hum in his soft falsetto and the rougher cadences of his lower range, quietly, because he believes Victor is still asleep.

He thinks about sitting up and taking advantage of more time to stare at Benji, but the music soon lulls him back to sleep. 

“Hey. Victor.” He feels a firm hand shaking his shoulder, pulling him from sleep. He blinks for a moment, and sees Benji leaning over the gearshift to wake him up.

“There’s some sort of blockage or something on the road, so it’ll be a few more minutes pulled over on the shoulder, but we’re getting close to home.” He says, moving back into the driver’s seat.

Victor sits up, slightly embarrassed for sleeping so long. “So what you’re saying is… we have some time to kill?”

Benji grins. “It would seem that way.”

Victor glances to the backseat, unclipping his seatbelt and putting his hand on the car lock. Benji smiles mischievously and pushes open the driver’s side door.

They’re hopping in the backseat, and without even thinking, their hands are on each other. Benji pushes Victor back onto the seat and kisses him until they’re both sweaty and breathless.

“God, Victor, I…” Benji trails off, staring at Victor with a wonderstruck expression on his face. He’s straddling him, Victor lying back on the seat, looking up at him.

“I don’t even know what you’re trying to say, but me, too.” Victor responds, breathing hard at the way Benji’s eyes are dark.

They hold each other’s gazes for a moment, the car lights turned off, sweaty in the darkness.

Benji looks out the windshield, climbing off Victor and back into the front seat. “It’s cleared. C’mon.” He says, looking back at him, and Victor thinks his heart is too big for his chest, right there in the backseat of Benji’s car.

He climbs back into the passenger side, and they’re quiet for a while, holding a comfortable silence.

“Play some more music.” Benji says, so Victor pulls out his phone and reconnects it to the speakers.   
  


An idea comes to mind. “Does it have to be music?” He questions.

Benji shrugs. “No. Do you have something in mind?”

He responds by pressing play, which then triggers the sound of a sigh, followed by “Hello, internet.”

Benji pauses, listening as suspenseful music plays, followed by “Sex! Secrecy! And a whole lot of internal screaming.” He laughs, loud and bright.

“Are you playing Basically I’m Gay? Oh my god, I never took you for a phannie.”

“It’s a guilty pleasure watch at most.” Victor clarifies.

“I’m not buying it. I bet you have ‘don’t cry, craft’ written on your bedroom wall.” Benji disagrees.

Victor laughs. “I don’t!” He then adds more casually, “You can see my room, if you want.”

Benji raises his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Not tonight or anything, it’s like, midnight, but another time?”

“Sure,” Benji says, pulling into the parking lot of Victor’s building. “I’ll walk you in.”

They get out of the car, and Victor hands Benji back his shirt, pulling on his jacket. They stand side by side for a moment, before Victor realizes Benji’s waiting for him to call the shots.

Under the cover of darkness, he grabs Benji’s hand and intertwines their fingers. A soft smile spreads across Benji’s face as they walk up to the building.

They reach Victor’s apartment, and turn to face each other.

“So, good first date?” Benji asks, and Victor reaches out and runs a hand through his hair.

“Perfect. You’re perfect.” Victor replies, voice barely above a whisper.

“Careful, don’t get sappy on me.” Benji says, leaning up into Victor’s touch.

They look at each other for a moment, before Victor says “We’ve got to stop looking longingly into each other’s eyes.”

“Hey!” Benji protests. “I’m done with longing. I’m looking  _ happily _ at you now.”

Victor’s laughing as he leans in to kiss him, and when they break apart, he’s beaming.

“Y’know, the last time we did this, I said I’d call you tomorrow, and I ended up seeing you that night.” Victor jokes.

“Guess you’d better call me tomorrow then.” Benji says cheekily, causing Victor to stick his hand up Benji’s shirt and press his fingers to the ticklish spot on his stomach. 

Benji laughs involuntarily, followed by real laughter, as he pushes Victor’s hand away from his stomach and up to his face instead.

“I have to go home now,” he murmurs, “or else I’ll stay here forever and kiss you.”

“Sounds good to me.” Victor says, grinning.

Benji smiles back at him. “Shut up.”

Victor smiles even wider. “Shut me up.”

Their mouths meet again, soft and steady, until Benji pulls back.

“Goodnight.” He whispers.

“Goodnight. Winky face.” Victor whispers back, and they both crack up, leaning into each other.

“Okay, okay, one more.” Benji says, pressing his lips softly to Victor’s.

He pulls away once more, smiling again. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Goodbye.” Victor whispers, holding onto Benji’s hand until he walks away, spring in his step.

Victor presses a hand to his lips, the swollen feeling becoming familiar. The feeling in his chest is what he can only describe as the feeling right before laughter, bubbling up warmly.

He turns the key in the lock, opening the door, and looks up to see his mother sitting on the couch with a cup of tea. She looks up to him, and pats the space on the couch next to her.

“How was the date, mi amor?”

He blushes at once. “Good. Great, actually.”

She gives him a knowing smile. “I’m glad. Now, I’m going to bed.”

“You didn’t have to wait up for me.” 

“My baby boy was on a first date with no curfew! Of course I had to stay up.” She says, shooting him a look.

He holds his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. Goodnight, Mom.”

She kisses the top of his head. “Goodnight, honey. Oh, and that boy seems nice. You should lock him down.”

“Mamá!” He protests.

“I’m just saying!” She responds, smiling slightly.

“Okay, well, that department is already covered.” Victor says, not looking at his mother. She laughs all the way down the hallway.

Victor falls into bed, ready to go to sleep, before he remembers something. He pulls out his phone and texts Benji.

Let me know when you get home

He waits a few minutes for a response, which he gets quickly.

Just did :)

Victor pulls up the smiling picture from earlier and sends it to Benji.

Okay if I post this?

With an ambiguous straight caption?

He bites his lip, worried he’s holding Benji back, but another text comes fast.

It’s actually really cute. Tag me ;)

He laughs a little, before pulling open Instagram and posting the picture with no caption.

Felix comments the side eye emoji immediately, and he spends a few minutes watching the post update. His heart silently falls at a comment from someone from school.

Love this bromance 😍

Benji texts him again, pulling his thoughts from the comments section.

I gotta go to sleep. Goodnight :)

He responds.

Goodnight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?

You’d better remember that.

  
  


Victor smiles softly as he rolls over to go to sleep, feeling his phone buzz again. He picks it up and sees a direct message from Simon, realizing he didn’t reply to the ones from earlier.

Okay, I’m gonna need some details, kid. This is big news!!! What’s going on between you and Benji?? Bram is actually going to explode if you don’t elaborate soon

Oof

Victor, stop hitting me with that roblox death sound and tell me something of substance 

It’s very complicated, but essentially, he took me on a date, and now we’re in a relationship 

Holy shit, Victor!

That’s what I said, too

Bram is crying. You made Bram cry. This type of event only occurs once in a century

Victor laughs, smiling down at his phone in the darkness.

Seriously, we’re all very proud of you

It’s definitely official, but we’re waiting to tell people for awhile 

Makes sense. Creekwood isn’t exactly the most liberal place. I know this is a shitty pep talk, but you guys should take your time.

He’s ready to actually fall asleep when he gets one last message.

Ivy says “let those twinks live” so I guess that means something. Night, Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I know this chapter was a bit shorter and I’m sorry for that, but the next one or two will be huge. Our next major resolution is coming up, and I’m really excited to write it! As always, thank you for your lovely comments and please keep leaving them as they fuel my soul!


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Benji and Victor try to figure out dating in secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mainly fluffy relationship development, so I hope you enjoy the calm before the storm! Also, I must regrettably inform you that there will be no new chapter tomorrow. Sorry, Vengi stans! I have a busy day tomorrow and won't have much time to write, but I do have chapter six outlined and partially written, so it will definitely be up on Thursday. Sorry about tomorrow's lack of a chapter and I hope you enjoy this one!

Victor walks into school Monday morning twenty minutes earlier than usual, pulling a still-sleepy Felix along by the arm. He pauses once they get to the hall where the locker rooms are, letting go of Felix’s arm, who promptly yawns.

“Why are you so tired?” Victor asks.

Felix rubs his eyes with one hand. “You called me at like five am, demanding we get here early to see your bo-”

“Shh!” Victor says, looking around quickly.

“And,” Felix continues, unfazed. “I was up kinda late last night.” He finishes with a grin. 

“Oh? You wanna elaborate on that?” Victor presses, momentarily distracted.

Felix looks cocky for probably the first time in his life. “Lake’s parents whisked her away on a weekend trip right after the dance, so we met up last night after she got back.”

Victor scrunches his face. “Ew. I mean, I’m happy for you, but ew.”

“Aww, you’re happy for me!” Felix gloats. “This is such a bro moment.” He gasps. “A  _ broment _ .”

Victor doesn’t even have a chance to react to that before he sees Benji enter the hallway, eyes searching, before they land on Victor and he smiles.

He walks over to them, looking adorable in a sweater.

“Hi.” He says, clasping his hands behind his back and looking up at Victor.

“Hi.” Victor breathes, running a hand through his hair.

Felix looks between the two of them. “Yeah, I’m gonna go find Lake.” He shoots them a tiny, scary smile and walks away.

Victor almost moves to touch Benji’s face before he remembers where they are. Benji gives him a sort of sad half-smile.

“You’re here early.” He remarks, and Victor can see him glance up and down, taking Victor in.

He’s suddenly aware of how his basketball jersey has no sleeves, how tight it is, and how vulnerable but good he feels under Benji’s gaze.

“Had to get a good look at our school’s fine architecture under the morning light.” Victor responds, prompting a chuckle from Benji.

Benji slides down onto the floor, placing his backpack next to him. “Sit?” He asks, looking up at Victor through his eyelashes, and so he does.

After seeing that there’s no one in the hallway, Victor overlaps his pinky with Benji’s, and all he can think about is how much he wants to kiss him.

“Why are _you_ here so early?” Victor asks, turning to look at Benji.

“I’ve been using the band room when no one’s there to work on a new cover. Just me, now that Derek’s quit the band, it’s pretty much over.” He responds, looking a little crestfallen at the mention.

Victor winces. “What are you working on?” He asks, trying to change the subject.

“I could show you.” Benji suggests. 

“Okay.” He says easily. Benji extends one hand, and since there’s no one in the hallway, he takes it, holding on an extra moment before they let go, walking too far apart.

Benji holds open the door to the band room, and he was right, there’s no one there. It makes Victor feel adventurous, so adventurous that as soon as the door closes, he pulls Benji into a kiss, quick and hard.

“I should start bringing you into empty rooms more often.” Benji laughs, his eyes bright and surprised.

Victor places a kiss on Benji’s jaw, soft and fast. “Show me that song.”

“If I can think now.” Benji jokes, letting go of Victor to pull open a storage closet and grab a guitar.

He strums it softly, listening closely to check the tuning. Victor pulls over a chair, facing the front of the room where Benji’s sitting. 

“I don’t know why you’ve only heard me sing songs by women, but here’s this one.” 

He starts strumming an introduction, humming along a little, a focused look on his face. Victor is immediately enraptured when he starts to sing.

  
  


_ All of these lines across my face _

_ Tell you the story of who I am _

_ So many stories of where I've been _

_ And how I got to where I am _

_ But these stories don't mean anything _

_ When you've got no one to tell them to _

_ It's true, I was made for you _

_ I climbed across the mountain tops _

_ Swam all across the ocean blue _

_ I crossed all the lines, and I broke all the rules _

_ But, baby, I broke them all for you _

_ Oh because even when I was flat broke _

_ You made me feel like a million bucks _

_ You do _

_ I was made for you _

_ For you _

_ You see the smile that's on my mouth _

_ It's hiding the words that don't come out _

_ And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed _

_ They don't know my head is a mess _

_ No, they don't know who I really am _

_ And they don't know what _

_ I've been through like you do _

_ And I was made for you _

_ And all of these lines across my face _

_ Tell you the story of who I am _

_ So many stories of where I’ve been _

_ And how I got to where I am _

_ But these stories don’t mean anything _

_ If you’ve got no one to tell them to _

_ It’s true, I was made for you _

_ It’s true that I was made for you _

Benji looks up from his guitar, his expression unfocusing. He looks straight at Victor, and he can sense worry in Benji’s expression.

“I, uh, messed up on the bridge,” is all Benji can say before Victor is kissing him. He makes a vague noise of surprise, setting the guitar on the floor. He grabs Victor’s face and kisses him back, hard.

They’ve only had a moment together when the warning bell rings, giving them just enough time to spring apart before a band student pushes open the door and walks in the room, giving them a weird look before he sets his bag down on one of the chairs.

Victor clears his throat, standing up and gathering his stuff. “So I’ll see you at lunch?”

Benji messes with his hair, trying to get it back to the way it looked before Victor’s hands were in it. “Yeah. Okay.” His voice sounds weird, and Victor marvels at the fact that he’s made Benji lose his usual steady composure.

He shoots him a smile, trying not to linger on his mouth. He walks away, feeling Benji’s eyes on him.

At lunchtime, he doesn’t even try to go to his normal table. Instead, he hangs a left and slips behind a portable classroom. There’s a gap between the school building and the makeshift one, leaving a spot out of the way, and most importantly, out of the view of the students eating lunch.

His phone buzzes in his pocket with a text from Benji.

Where are you?

Behind portable B :)

Oh???

Just come here

  
  


He stands with his back against the school, silently waiting, until Benji slips into the space, immediately placing his hand on Victor’s chest.

“God, this morning in the band room, I…” He trails off, shaking his head. “I mean, we have to be more careful.”

Victor’s not surprised, but he is sad. “I know. But I wanna see you again. Outside of school. Is it too soon to ask you on a second date?”

Benji moves to stand next to him, leaning to put his head on Victor’s shoulder. “Considering you magically showed up where I was an hour after I kissed you, I don’t think two days is too soon for a second date.”

“Good, because I am going to go crazy if I can’t kiss you for more than two seconds soon.” He responds, studying every detail of Benji’s hand.

“Luckily for you, we’ve got,” Benji checks the time. “Twenty-two more minutes for you to kiss me, so you’d better get started.”

Victor pulls him in close, taking a moment to just stare at him. “God, you’re beautiful.” He breathes, and Benji beams up at him. 

“Shut up.” He jokes, but Victor knows he loves it.

He leans down slightly, capturing Benji in a soft kiss, before Benji presses him against the wall and kisses him furiously.

They lose track of time, lost in each other for what feels like no time at all to them.

Benji eventually pulls back, looking at Victor with wide eyes full of desire, and Victor feels like his head is swimming with affection.

“Do you want to actually eat?” He asks softly, tucking a piece of Victor’s hair behind his ear.

“No. Eating is dumb.” Victor responds.

“Did you eat anything this morning?” Benji says, his brows furrowing slightly.

Victor thinks back to that morning. “No, I don’t think so.” Once he sees the look on Benji’s face, he protests. “But I’m fine. I just want to stay here with you until we absolutely have to go to class.”

But Benji is persistent, and two minutes later, they’re sitting in the narrow patch of grass, eating lunch.

“So when am I taking you out?” Victor asks, scrolling through his Instagram feed briefly.

“Considering we have the exact same work schedule, I’m free whenever you are.” Benji teases back.

Victor opens his calendar, clicking on that weekend. “Do you wanna do something Friday night after work?”

“Sure,” Benji says easily. 

“I’d better get planning if I’m gonna top the sunset picnic on the beach.” Victor says, poking Benji in the side. “Or what you pulled this morning.”

Benji blushes slightly. “I wouldn’t say I pulled something.”

“Are you kidding? You sang me a Brandi Carlile song. That’s like, something out of a YA novel.”

“Spend a lot of time reading gay lierature?” Benji asks cheekily.

Victor scoffs. “No way. I don’t even know who Simon Snow is. Hey, isn’t it kinda weird that there’s a gay fictional character named Simon and then there’s Simon Spier?”

Benji laughs, checking the time. “I’d better get going. My next class is all the way across the building.” He leans in to kiss Victor, short and sweet.

“I’ll see you at work?” Victor asks, stretching his arm to keep holding Benji’s hand. 

“You’d better.” Benji says, squeezing his hand and walking away.

  
  


At Brasstown that afternoon, Victor closely watches the clock until it’s six, when he quickly grabs Benji by the back of his apron and pulls him into a closet, shutting the door.

“This is new,” Benji says, putting his arms around Victor’s waist. “But I’m not complaining.”

They explore new things about each other, Victor learning that Benji’s skin is very sensitive. They’re panting and smiling at each other, gasping under each other’s mouths in the small space.

Victor has his hands up Benji’s shirt when they hear the click of the door unlocking. Victor steps on a stool and pretends to be reaching for something by the time Sarah opens the door.

“Oh. I didn’t realize you two were in here. The soy pitcher’s broken, I need a new one.” She says, nodding up to where Victor is.

“Mhm. I asked Victor to get a new one since I can’t reach.” Benji lies, appearing almost bored. Victor gets a pitcher and hands it to Sarah, hoping she doesn’t notice his messy hair and the sheen of sweat on his body.

“Thanks. You kids should be getting home, it’s late.” 

“Sure. We were just headed out.” Benji says, holding out a hand to help Victor from the stool. Victor can feel the heat on his skin, and he wants to keep holding on.

They walk to Benji’s car, the unmentioned energy buzzing between them running high. As soon as the doors shut, they break out into laughter.

“Shit. We really can’t get a moment alone today, can we?” Benji laughs, pulling out of the parking lot.

“If I have to stare at you making a latte for one more minute, I will suffocate a customer.”

They talk aimlessly on the short ride to Victor’s house, until Benji’s pulling into the parking lot of his building.

“Text me when you get home. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Victor says, pulling his backpack over one shoulder.

Benji smiles, faint yet bright. “Okay. See you tomorrow.”

He leans across the gear, kissing Victor goodbye softly.

“Bye.” Victor says, opening the door to his car, and with one last smile, stepping out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you liked this chapter, please leave me a comment letting me know what you thought! Also, side note, my bitch @Cyberbulky drew a lovely fan art of Simon that got noticed by Becky Albertalli, so hell yeah!


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor faces his problems, confronts an enemy, and has a serious talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy angst going into this one. Before I say anything else, there's a warning for underage drinking and inebriation in this chapter, so do not proceed if you don't want to read that.
> 
> That said, I know I said there would be no chapter today, but a bunch of details popped into my head, and when I went to write them down, I essentially started writing the chapter, and got sucked into it. I wrote for about five hours, so this chapter is insane and long. I hope you enjoy!

It’s been two months of staring at Benji in class, two months of stolen kisses during their breaks, two months of slipping in time to see each other between studying for finals and Benji’s music.

It’s also been two months of Victor adjusting to looking around corners and not seeing his father there, cursing at a home improvement project or yelling at a soccer game on tv.

Victor doesn’t tell anyone how sad he is every time he knocks on his mother’s bedroom door and sees her in there, alone, the space next to her more absent than it’s ever been. Sometimes he sees her glance to the left side of the bed, and the look in her eyes makes him want to cry.

They haven’t spoken about it, haven’t mentioned it in passing other than a fleeting moment where he realized his father was still sending them money from a bank receipt on the table.

He doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know how to deal with it other than to push it down and pretend to be happy. And he is wonderfully, massively happy in moments. 

He’s happy letting Benji play him songs about longing romance. He’s happy when Pilar puts makeup on him for the first time and berates him for rubbing his eyes. He’s happy when Mia asks him for coffee, and they cry together, airing out their problems and moving toward a new phase of life.

But he can’t pretend to be happy when he hears his mother cry at night. He can’t stand the aching pressure of homophobia pushing down on him at school because he’s not ready, doesn’t think he can ever be ready, and that’s what makes him cry at night and wake up with dark circles.

His rollercoaster of emotions tires him. He gets bursts of energy after laughing with Felix, kissing Benji, holding a conversation that isn’t tense with Mia. Then he comes home to an apartment that feels too big, and a little brother crying for his papi.

Victor is truly, deeply, scared. He can’t pinpoint the main reason for his fear among everything that’s hurting him, but he knows the feeling, and it’s something he can’t shake.

He steps into his home from school one day, knowing it’s been exactly two months and three days since his father left them, and the overwhelming emptiness that fills him as he glances at a family picture almost brings tears to his eyes.

Victor wants to call Benji, but he knows he’s on a trip with his parents, trying to repair their relationship, and he can’t interrupt that. Not until he gets home in two days.

He’s scrolling through his contacts when their home phone rings, and he moves to pick it up.

“This is the Salazars.” 

“Victor?’

The sound of his father’s voice is like a punch to the gut.

“Dad?”

He hears the rush of an unexpected breath on the other end.

“I was calling for your mother. Her phone must be off. I just need her to approve a new transfer into her bank account.”

“You’ve been calling Mom?”

“I… yes. To talk about finances.”

Victor’s hands are shaking.

“You can call your estranged wife, but you can’t let your kids know you’re even alive?”

“Mijo, I-”

“Adrian cries every night. He doesn’t know where you are, none of us do, and you and Mom have been having midnight chats?”

“Victor, it’s not like that. I was planning on-”

Victor hangs up before he can hear his father’s response. 

He ignores the ringing phone and runs to his room, grabbing the walkie-talkie. “Victor to Felix? Over?”

The response comes quickly. “Hey, man. What’s up?”

“I’m… I feel like shit. Is there any way I can come to yours? I can’t be in this house right now.” He falters on his last word, clenching his hands tightly around his blanket.

He hears shuffling. “Sorry man, Lake is here.” Felix apologizes softly. “Do you need me? I can come over.”

Victor’s already shutting down at his apology. “No, no it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I can-”

“Nope, no need to cramp your style.” Victor laughs falsely, his voice too high and too strained. “I’m just gonna go on a walk.”

He can almost hear Felix’s hesitant pause. “I don’t know that you shou-”

“Bye!” He chirps, throwing the walkie-talkie at the wall. He picks up his phone, opening a thread of messages that has just recently started back up.

His first text to Mia is short, and he wills her to respond. He loves her, and knows that if he needs someone to talk to, she’ll give the best advice.

Hey, what are you doing?

Her response is as immediate as it is confusing.

Hanging out with Lake, what’s up?

Victor glances to where the walkie-talkie at the wall, seeing it unbroken on the floor.

At Felix’s?

No? At my house

Are you guys alone?

Yeah? What’s going on?

Suddenly, his tension turns angry. He opens Felix’s contact, hands shaking, and presses the call button.

He picks up immediately. “Hey, are you okay?”

Victor could not care less that his voice is filled with worry. “Is there really anyone at your apartment right now? Be honest, because I’ll know if you’re lying.”

Felix falters briefly, and that’s how Victor knows he’s telling the truth. “No. Lake isn’t here. I’m sorry I lied to you, but Victor, I swear, there’s a reason-”

“Okay? What’s the reason?”

“I… I can’t really tell you. I’m sorry.” 

Victor’s head hurts, and his world is spinning. “I don’t care that you’re sorry. You clearly don’t want me around right now.”

“No, Victor, that’s no-”

He chokes down a voice crack. “Save it. Goodbye.”

“No, Victor, wait!” He presses the hang up button.

It’s then that Victor knows he can’t stay there anymore, not with his mother practically in solitary confinement, not with the ghost of his still-living father reminding him what a disappointment he is at every turn.

“Going to work, Mom! They need me there until closing for a private event, so I won’t be home till late!” He yells at his mother’s bedroom door, not waiting for a response before he runs away, all the way to the nearest bus stop.

Victor doesn’t have any idea of where he wants to go. He briefly ponders going to Mia’s house, but he knows Lake is there and that will inevitably bring Felix into the fold, and he really doesn’t want to see him right now. So he lets his feet take him on a familiar route: to school.

He doesn’t even notice Andrew sitting on the bench until he’s right in front of his face. Victor gives him a cautious look before Andrew smiles, wide and full of mirth, and Victor realizes something.

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” He asks, and Andrew claps a hand on his back, pulling him down onto the bench. 

“Deeply, truly, indubitably, drunk as a skunk.” Andrew slurs, and Victor sees the bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Okay,” he starts, more than slightly confused. “Why here?”

Andrew stares at him blankly for a moment before responding. “Guess I’m hoping to get caught and go to jail so my jackass of a father’ll stop treating me like a trophy.”

Victor just looks at him, somewhere between concerned and unsure. “Well, you’re in the right place for that.”

“You, my friend, are a total jackass, kinda like my father, and I hope you die in a fire.” Andrew states, and Victor has the decency not to laugh.

“AND!” Andrew adds, seemingly not done. “You look like _shit_ right now. Take a sip. It’s like juice once you get a few swigs in.”

Victor looks from him to the bottle. “What the hell.” He says flatly, taking a deep, burning swallow and trying not to sputter as it goes down. He coughs, wiping his mouth, and Andrew laughs at him.

“Why are you joining me here on this fine evening?” He asks, taking the bottle for another sip before passing it back to Victor, who also drinks again.

“My dad is kinda a jackass too. Y’know, I’ve never been drunk before. When does it hit?” He asks, taking a swig.

“You’ll get there,” Andrew says. “Lightweight.” He jeers, but there’s no bite behind it.

Victor looks out at the setting sun lighting up the brassy liquid, and decides it’s hideous. He takes an especially large swallow, his eyes watering.

“Careful there.” Andrew says, hitting Victor on the back in a moment almost close to solidarity. “Where’s your boy tonight, anyway?”

Victor’s eyes shoot around quickly, and upon identifying no one around, he answers, as carefully as he can with the building levels of alcohol in his system.

“On his way back from a parental bonding trip with his not absent father.”

Andrew raises one eyebrow. “I see you didn’t deny you’re together.”

Victor feels his heart rate skyrocket and realizes he doesn’t like drinking. He immediately contradicts that thought by downing the last eighth of the bottle in one go, sucking the dregs from the bottom.

He pushes the bottle back at Andrew, quickly noticing how much he’s lost his coordination, and also noticing he doesn’t really care.

“I don’t know why I’d deny it,” he slurs. “You could’ve told anyone you want by now.”

He looks closer at Andrew, not able to read his expression. “Wait, why did you? I mean, why didn’t you?”

Andrew closes his eyes, and for a second, Victor thinks he’s going to black out. Then he opens them, and meets Victor’s gaze.

“Two months ago, I would’ve. But when Lone Stone, I mean, Felix, said some shit to me about being a shitty person, I realized that the way to get back at you for hurting Mia wasn’t to humiliate both of you. I had to be there for her when you wouldn’t.”

Victor is angry, angry, angry, and he can barely grasp why. “That’s why you’ve gotten so close to Mia? To get revenge on me?”

“No, no, no no.” Andrew puts a hand on Victor’s chest as if to physically stop him, and Victor pushes him off, not liking anyone’s hands there but Benji’s.

“It’s not like that,” he continues, and Victor hates, hates, hates the amount of times he’s heard those words today. “I care about her a lot. You tore her heart out and stomped on it, and someone had to be her shoulder to cry on.”

“I’ll never stop feeling guilty for that.” Victor mumbles, and he wishes he was drunk enough to not feel that immense weight.

“Good.” Andrew laughs, a short bark. “She’s forgiven you because she’s perfect, but I’ll always hate your guts.”

“Ditto.” Victor spits out, but Andrew only laughs at him again.

He stands, grabbing the glass bottle from the ground where he’d placed it. “Fuck you, Salazar.” He moves as if to throw the bottle at the brick wall, but stops at the last minute.

“Y’know” he drawls, his southern accent overriding his procured nasally tones. “You could probably use a good temper tantrum.” He tucks the bottle under Victor’s arm, gives him a condescending pat, and walks down a residential street near the school, disappearing.

Victor shakes his head sloppily, but once he feels the cool glass of the bottle, he chucks it hard at the wall, accidentally slicing his hand on the shards in the process.

“Fuck!” He yells, a rare moment, and he stares at his bleeding hand until the sun is set along with his wound.

He feels his phone buzz in his pocket, fumbling to check it. He blinks through his blurry vision, making out the text from Benji.

I’m back a little early to see someone...

He hastily types a response, angering every time he misses a key.

I wsnna sre yoj

Do you wanna come over?

No. Brasdtoqn

You okay?

Krybord broke

Okay, weirdo. I can be at Brasstown in ten

Ol me tpo

See you there :)

Yes

  
  


Victor sprints back to the bus stop, laughing at the driver’s brightly patterned shirt and almost getting himself kicked off the bus.

He runs again to the front of the coffee shop, dark and closed up for the night. He sits on a bench in front of it, slumping with his head against the wall.

He smiles widely when he sees Benji get out of his car, happy and glowing in his leather jacket. Victor thinks about how much he loves that jacket. It’s so worn in and it smells like Benji.

“Hey.” Benji greets, sitting on the bench next to him.

“Hi, baby!” Victor says, throwing his arms around Benji’s neck.

He extricates Victor after a moment, looking intently in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I’m great! Kiss me.” Victor practically shouts, pushing his mouth onto Benji’s, for once uncaring about their public setting.

Benji immediately grabs him by the shoulders, pulling him right in front of his face.

“Victor, I need you to respond honestly.” He says, his face painted with worry. “Are you drunk?”

“NO! I mean, no. I’m not. Your hair is so soft. I love it.” Victor responds, getting distracted by Benji’s hair. 

“Okay, well you taste and smell like whiskey.” Benji says, anger dripping into his tone. “What did you do? Oh my god, are you bleeding?”

Victor giggles. “Haha. That’s scary. I didn’t even have that much. Just a little bit. Not even that much.” He insists.

He’s only ever seen Benji frustrated, annoyed, or displeased. He thought he’d seen him angry before, but the look on Benji’s face tells Victor he really hadn’t until now.

“Okay, but you’re gonna laugh. My dad called. Turns out, he’s been calling a lot, just not me.” Victor tries to laugh, but it sounds false. “And Felix didn’t want me. And you weren’t there, even though you probably wanted me, but in a very different way from Felix. Haha.”

Benji’s face is like stone. He’s stoic, displaying his anger only in the hand that’s clenched tightly around Victor’s arm.

“We should have sex, Benji. Right now.” Victor decides suddenly.

“No. Victor, no.” His response is deeply upset, and he almost looks like he’s going to cry for a moment.

“Ouch. Okay. Guess you don’t want me, either.” Victor giggles, unable to stop his laughter.

“Victor, look at me. We are going to talk about this later. Right now, I need you to get in my car and do not lie down, okay?” His voice is tight, tensely concealing emotion, and Victor wants him to stop acting like that.

“Ooookay.” He responds, letting himself be pulled to Benji’s car.

The ride is silent and angry, but Victor can’t focus on anything but the crippling nausea that takes over as soon as the car begins to move.

Benji parks outside his house, a place Victor has only seen a handful of times and only ever from the outside.

“Where are your parents?” He asks, stumbling up the steps.

“Not here.” Benji responds before tugging him through the door, propping him up by the shoulder.

They just make it to the bathroom before Victor’s throwing up in the toilet, only bringing up the burning alcohol, having almost nothing else in his stomach.

“I’m sorry, Benji. I’m so sorry.” Victor cries as he heaves, feeling Benji’s hand on the back of his neck. He slumps against the bathtub, feeling more sober but so, so exhausted, and Benji takes away his hand. Victor is scared by the absence, but he returns a moment later with a wet washcloth and a toothbrush.

He brushes his teeth and washes his face at the sink, aware of Benji standing behind him, crossing his arms. “Take a shower.” He says, giving Victor one of his shirts and a pair of shorts, and he steps out of the bathroom, softly closing the door.

Victor steps into the unfamiliar shower and sets it to freezing cold, flinching under the water but needing it. He feels more like himself minute by minute, until he steps out of the shower, towelling off.

He almost cries again at how much the clothes smell like Benji as he changes. Victor steps out of the bathroom with a foggy head, roiling stomach, and careful uneasiness at Benji’s lack of words.

He sits on the bed as Benji silently cleans and bandages his hand, unsure of how to speak the whole time.

Finally, Benji must deem his hand good for now, because he pulls him into a tight embrace, burying his face in Victor’s chest.

“Don’t ever do that again.” He mumbles, sounding furious, and almost sad.

“I won’t. I swear, I won’t.” Victor responds, breathing in the smell of Benji’s shampoo and feeling like he’s home.

Benji pulls back, holding onto Victor’s hand tightly. “I don’t know why you got drunk, or who you were with, but I can’t let you do this. You can’t be like me. I almost accidentally ended my own life because I was careless, drinking so much, and when I saw you there, looking wrecked and bleeding, it freaked me out.” 

His voice gains a quiet tremor, and Victor can’t believe he didn’t think about Benji’s accident.

“Don’t ever fucking do that again, Victor! What if you had driven? Where the hell would you be right now? God, imagining you in that hospital, I…” his shout breaks with a sob, and Victor is stunned. He’s never seen Benji this angry, never seen him cry.

“You can’t do that. You have to be safe. You don’t deserve what I got, to be hurt, without ever really living. I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you.” He sniffles once.

“Let me take care of you.” He pleads, and Victor’s heart breaks right there.

He wants to pull Benji into his arms, wants to hold him close and reassure him that he’ll be fine, but he knows he has to be honest. He can’t keep ignoring his problems.

“My dad called. I think I told you that. My mom’s been lying to me. And you weren’t there, and Felix didn’t want to help me, and everyone just seemed so happy and busy while I felt like I was suffocating in that apartment. I needed… a distraction.”

Benji nods, just once, and Victor thinks it’s because he understands.

“I walked to school, and Andrew was there, drinking. He offered me some and I took it. I know I shouldn’t have. I’ve never been drunk before, so I should’ve known it would hit me hard. I’m sorry.”

Benji exhales, and then inhales deeply, as if he’s fighting off a memory. Victor hates that this is hard for him, but he knows they need to be honest with each other.

“I’ve really been struggling. It was tense with my parents fighting all the time, but I never thought that divorce might be a serious possibility. It scares me. Everything is different now, and I can’t even have you at school because that scares me, and I’m a coward.”

Victor sees the surprise in Benji’s eyes, and he knows he should’ve had this conversation a long time ago.

“You’re not a coward. Coming out is scary for everyone who has to do it. I just got a head start from you. I'm still scared, too.”

He looks up at Victor and places a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose.

“Thank you for telling me. I know it hurts. I know you feel like shit.” His face is still red and splotchy, and Victor rubs it gently with the pad of his thumb.

“I don’t even know how I’m going to face my mom.” He says, dread filling him.

“You don’t have to quite yet. You’re staying here tonight.” Benji responds reassuringly, and Victor gives him a confused look.

“I called Pilar on your phone and bargained with her. She’s going to make up something to tell your mom tonight as long as I teach her how to play the guitar. She went easy on me. I think she’s worried about you.”

The idea of Pilar being worried about him seems so foreign that Victor can’t help but crinkle his nose, causing Benji to laugh a little.

“Where am I sleeping tonight?” Victor asks, coloring at the memory of what he proposed earlier, when he was in a much scarier state of mind.

Benji goes pale for a moment, as if he’s remembering it too. “Depends on how drunk you still are. We have a pullout couch, which is where I’m going to put you if you’re still even tipsy, but if you’re sober, I’ll open the option of you sleeping here. If you want.”

“How are you going to judge that?” Victor questions, slightly confused but still happy at the thought of getting to be close to Benji for so long.

“My parents keep a breathalyzer from, y’know.” His brow furrows a bit, and Victor runs his finger over that spot, causing it to smooth back out. “But no one’s ever used it. Okay, here.” He says, grabbing the small item from his nightstand.

“Blow into this.” He says, and Victor does, feeling slightly ridiculous. Benji looks closely at the device, and Victor has no idea what the single green band that appears means.

“Am I sober?” He asks, keeping his tone light.

“I don’t know, are you?”

Victor thinks for a moment before responding. “Well, I feel kinda like I’m gonna die, but I don’t feel like I’m going to say anything dumb, or do something I normally wouldn’t do. And I can actually see straight now, no pun intended.”

Benji laughs brightly, and Victor’s kicking himself internally for making him so upset.

“Test says there’s almost no booze in your system, so you probably lost a lot of it earlier. But, Victor, now that I know you’re feeling better, we have to talk about something.”

Victor’s heart drops, though he has no idea what Benji’s going to say. “Okay.”

He hesitates, a fleeting moment before speaking. “What you said earlier. About us. Together. It really freaked me out, the idea of you being forced into something you didn’t want. Because I have no idea what you want. As a couple, we have to be honest with each other about that. I’ve had sex before, and you haven’t. So talk to me.” He sits patiently, waiting for a response.

Victor takes a deep breath. “I honestly don’t know why I said that, then. I clearly wasn’t thinking right, but there is some truth to it, because I do want that. With you. Obviously, not right now, but I want you to teach me. Sometime in the future.”

Benji’s blushing a little, and Victor holds back a laugh. “Okay. I trust you to talk to me about your feelings. Speaking of that, where do you want to sleep? My parents won’t be home until the day after tomorrow.”

The slight mention of an occupied bed, in a house with no parents, sparks something in Victor’s stomach, even though they’ve just had a conversation about the future.

“Here? With you?” He says hopefully, and Benji smiles at him.

“Okay. Get under the covers, then, I’m tired.” And Victor can really see it in the circles under his eyes, from stress and worry as much as exhaustion. 

Victor caresses Benji’s face, once, before they snuggle down together, closer on so many levels. As he falls asleep, pressed against Benji’s back, all the pounding in his head couldn’t erase the distinct feeling of home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'm going to say it, this has been my favorite chapter to write so far. I put a lot of work into it, and I'm pretty proud of it. I've been holding off on direct mentions of sex between Benji and Victor because two people I know in real life read this (hi babes) but I think it's a very real discussion that a lot of teen couples don't have properly and it's good to normalize that, even in fiction. They don't talk about anything in detail because I want to stick to the major themes of the show for this work and keep it as realistic as possible. All of that up in the air, I hope you liked reading this chapter as much as I liked writing it! Thanks to @Cyberbulky for help with the Spanish phrasing! Please leave me a comment letting me know what you thought as comments DO fuel my soul.
> 
> Character: *has a dysfunctional family*  
> Me: ok that but make it sad


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor recovers and bonds with a few important people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning in this chapter for hospital/emergency room!
> 
> In the ending author's notes there will be a notice about me looking for a beta writer. Please check this out if you're interested!

Victor wakes slowly, blearily opening his eyes to the feeling of a throbbing head along with a firm warmth next to him. The third thing he feels is his arm, numb and asleep where Benji is laid on top of it.

He slowly tries to take his arm away, resulting in a still sleeping Benji snuggling down harder onto it. Victor tries not to laugh at the image, and just the effort of that makes his head spin.

He takes a moment to regain his focus, looking at Benji’s sleeping form. In sleep, he seems younger somehow, more innocent. Victor loves the slight part of his lips as he breathes, softly floating.

Benji stirs after a minute, blinking, then smiling upon seeing Victor looking at him.

“Good morning.” He whispers, and Victor lets his mouth drop open a little at the sight of him, all rumpled and sleepy-warm.

“Good morning.” He responds, wincing slightly.

Benji’s face gets that little wrinkle on his forehead as he looks concerned. “How do you feel?”

“Like death.” Victor answers honestly. “But better now that you’re awake.”

That pulls a smile from Benji, and he sits up on the bed, stepping onto the floor. 

“Let’s get you some ibuprofen. You’ll probably feel a lot better after a glass of water and some food.” Victor grimaces at the mention of food, but allows himself to be pulled to the kitchen.

He looks around at Benji’s house as they go, seeing it for the first time without the hazy lens of alcohol.

It’s a relatively average house by normal standards, but small for Shady Creek. Victor knows Benji has a job to pay for his car, but he had always assumed his family was well off.

“Sit. I’ll get you some medicine.” Benji says. Victor’s about to protest when he remembers what Benji said the night before about taking care of him, so he sits, takes the offered pills, and gulps down two glasses of water.

Victor can’t keep the smile off his face as he watches Benji focus on toasting bread. The scene is so stupidly domestic and he loves it.

He sets a plate with toast in front of Victor, who almost turns his nose up at it until he sees Benji’s pointed look.

“Eat. It’ll make you feel better. I promise.” He says, and Victor can’t say no to that face.

He takes a tentative bite, feeling his stomach reject the food at first. It soon soaks up what’s left of the alcohol and he feels remarkably better.

“Better?” Benji asks.

“One hundred percent. You’re an excellent caretaker.” Victor responds, pulling Benji in for a soft kiss.

He breaks it after a moment, smiling up at Benji for once, their height difference changed when he’s sitting and Benji is standing.

“I should get home. My mom has probably already seen through whatever lie Pilar made up.” He says, face still close to Benji’s.

“Okay. I can drive you.” He responds. “But you should probably put your own clothes back on. I don’t think there’s any puke on them.”

They laugh for a second, and Benji leads Victor back to his room, where they left Victor’s clothes.

He puts on his own shirt and jeans, grateful to find that they don’t smell of whiskey. When he steps out of the bathroom, Benji is just pulling a shirt over his head. He cracks a smile when Victor blushes at him shirtless.

“Hey, babe.” He says, and Victor normally finds the word so awkward, but it sounds perfect coming out of Benji’s mouth.

“Hi.” He says, smiling softly. The morning light streaming in through the window highlight’s Benji’s face, and Victor realizes something.

He thinks he’s falling in love.

It hits him suddenly, so much so that he probably displays it visually, because Benji gives him a questioning look.

“Ugh. Stomach.” He says, truly feeling fine physically. In his mind, nothing will process.

Benji looks at him sympathetically and pulls him close, pressing a hand to the back of his neck, with so much affection that Victor thinks his heart is going to explode.

Ever since he saw him in the hallway on the first day of school, he knew he was attracted to him, but this is something completely different. Victor thinks about the dance, confronting Derek in the hallway and convincing him not to leave Benji, and how much it hurt to push him into the arms of another.

People always say you’ll know when you’re in love for the first time, and Victor has no idea how he hasn’t known earlier. He knew he cared about Benji deeply, but now he knows that he won't let anything hurt Benji.

He looks at Benji when they’re in his car, smiling faintly and humming along to the low music, and Victor loves him so much he can’t think. 

They pull up to his building, as they have many times before, but this time, Victor’s realization makes him feel as light as air. 

Benji turns to him, mouth open to speak, when Victor leans in and captures him in a furious kiss, holding his face tenderly.

He pushes everything he’s been thinking into it, causing Benji to laugh in surprise briefly before getting distracted by Victor’s tongue in his mouth.

Victor holds it for a moment before pulling back, his hands cupping Benji’s face.

“What was that for?” Benji asks, pleasantly surprised and breathless.

Victor squishes his cheeks just a little, because  _ god, _ Benji is beautiful and so fucking hot, but sometimes he’s just so adorable.

“Thank you.” Victor says finally, pushing Benji’s hair out of his face. It’s not everything he wants to say, but it’s the truth.

Benji’s face is still pink when he responds. “Of course.”

Victor smiles and opens the car door, just starting to step out when Benji speaks again.

“Victor?”

He turns back. “Yeah?”

“Call me maybe?”

Victor laughs, full of relief. “Okay, okay.”

“Do, though.”

“I will.”   
  


He looks at Benji one last time, shaking his head and smiling, and he heads up the stairs to the apartment building, hearing Benji drive away in the background.

And, as he carelessly swings open the door, it hits Felix smack in the face and he collapses to the ground.

“Victor? What the fuck?” He sputters, blood streaming from his face between his fingers, hands pressed close to his wound.

“Oh my god, Felix? What are you doing here?” Victor half-screams, leaning down to look at his face.

“I live here!” He spits back, blood starting to run down his neck, staining the collar of his shirt.

Victor pulls him from the ground and stares at Felix’s face. His nose is pouring blood, and his eye is swelling shut from where the corner of the door’s window hit him.

“Crap. Um, give me your keys.” Felix just stares back at him, seemingly not comprehending. “Godammit, Felix, where are your keys?” Victor swears.

Felix digs frantically in his pocket, pulling out his keys and pressing them into Victor’s hand.

“Come on. Get in your car. We’re going to the hospital.” Victor demands, pulling Felix by one arm to his car, thankfully parked close to the building.

He shoves a barely conscious Felix into the passenger’s seat and slams on the gas, speeding out of the parking lot in record time.

“Felix? Stay awake. I need you to go to my mom’s contact and press call. Here, take my phone.”

He types in his passcode and shoves the phone into Felix’s hand. Felix wipes some blood off on his shirt and takes it, somehow able to call Victor’s mom and put her on speaker.

She immediately launches into a ramble, not giving Victor any time to speak.

“Hi honey. I was actually just about to call you- I’m driving north to um, see a customer for a home visit. I won’t be back for awhile, so when you get home from Felix’s, please order some dinner for your siblings.”

He grips the steering wheel harder, ignoring the confused look Felix gives him. “Mom, I’m driving Felix to the emergency room. We had an, uh, accident, and I think he broke his nose, or something.”

Her gasp is audible. “Oh my gosh, is he okay? I’m about three hours away, I don’t know that I could get back in any time to help. I could call Felix’s mother?”

Victor is about to respond with a yes when Felix essentially jumps forward. “No!” He exclaims, moving the phone away from Victor. He swallows. “No, I’ll text her.” 

Isabel’s voice is rushed and worried over the phone. “Are you sure, honey? I could ask Pilar to walk up there and knock on the door.”

Felix’s eyes open wide, but shock and pain keep him from speaking. Somehow, Victor knows he needs to back him up.

“Don’t do that, Mom. It’ll just shock her. I’ll give her a text from Felix's phone. I have to go now, I think he’s going to pass out.”

“Be safe! And, Vic-” He hangs up on her, dropping his phone to the floor and trying to lean over and prop Felix up.

“Don’t go to sleep. Felix, you asshole, do not pass out.” Victor yells at him, anxious at the way Felix’s eyes seem to roll back into his head.

But he manages to stay conscious until they reach the emergency room, when Victor opens the car door and yells for a wheelchair.

An EMT runs over with a wheelchair. “What happened?” She asks, taking in Felix’s battered face.

“He got hit in the face with a door.” Victor says, feeling lost and confused. The EMT nods at him and motions for him to come, quickly wheeling Felix into the building.

They take him behind a curtain to get his vitals, and Victor is overwhelmed by the paperwork he’s given.

Someone walks to take the clipboard, and he has to say “I could only fill out about half of it.”

Victor sits and waits for what is really about an hour, but feels like days. He bounces his leg up and down on the plastic waiting room chair, staring at the blood on his hands.

Eventually, Felix walks out, cleaned up and bandaged, supported by a nurse. She looks at Victor and hands him a plastic bag.

“He’s pretty roughed up, but he’ll be fine. Broken nose, black eye, mild concussion… all the instructions are in there. Are you his brother?” She asks plainly.

“No,” Victor responds, taking over holding onto Felix’s arm. “I’m his best friend.”

“Well, get him home.” She says. “It’s not normal that a minor comes in without a parent.”

Victor helps Felix to his car, essentially placing him in the passenger’s seat. He shuts the door harshly, causing Felix to wince in pain. The first part of the ride is silent, until Victor speaks up, softly. 

“I’m sorry,” he expresses. “I shouldn’t have just expected you to be there for me at a random time. I know you must’ve had a reason.”

Felix moves his head, trying to look at Victor. “There is. A reason, I mean.” He takes a deep breath.

“My mom has always had mental problems. She has a hard time letting go of stuff. Eventually, it built up, and now the entire apartment is essentially a storage unit. There’s stuff everywhere.”

He sucks in a breath. 

“Lake is the only other person who’s seen it. Today when my mom had a breakdown, I was going to drive to see Lake. That’s when you hit me with the door.”

He grimaces, and his voice sounds broken.

“I know I should’ve told you. I’m sorry for lying. You’re my best friend, one of the only friends I’ve ever had. It’s just,” he sucks in a breath. “Hard.” He finishes.

Victor turns to look at him, bruised and battered. “You didn’t have to tell me. I get it. I mean, I can’t understand firsthand, but I know about keeping secrets.” He cracks a half smile, and Felix opens his eyes a little more.

“I’m sorry for shutting you out when you were trying to help in the way you could. I get why you felt like you had to lie.” They share a moment, smiling in comfortable silence.

“Did I see Benji’s car out there earlier? Little rendezvous with your boo?” Felix grins, and Victor laughs despite himself, glad to have his best friend back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Poor Victor has really been going through it, and it's not stopping anytime soon. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave me a comment as they fuel my soul! A little notice: there might not be a new chapter tomorrow, depending on what time zone you're in. It will most likely be posted about right or nine hours later than usual, and then I'll miss a day of posting and get back on my regular schedule. Sorry, y'all!


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor fights a bit, learns a bit, and lets someone take care of him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, let me just say, structurally, I think this is the best chapter yet. @jacksonnw took on this monster of a chapter to beta for the first time and I'm obsessed with it. You can already see the crazy difference in quality and I'm here for it! The end of this work would not be happening without this help and I'm so grateful! Shower on the beta love!
> 
> (Edit: for some reason the archive isn't letting me list jacksonnw as a co-creator so just know they should be there)

Victor waves a short goodbye to Felix before running down the stairs to his own apartment, almost missing the rusty brown of the blood left on his hands.

He collapses on the couch, exhausted from the emotional and physical turmoil he’s been through in the last twenty-four hours. He barely has time to sit down before Adrian runs up to him, hitting his legs with some sort of toy.

“Adrian, go to your room and watch a slime video or something.” Pilar says, stepping into the room and crossing her arms.

“Can I make some later?” He asks, bouncing up and down on his toes.

“As long as you don’t spill Mom’s contact solution.” She responds, and he runs off to his room shrieking.

She sits on the couch next to Victor silently, his expression betraying nothing.

Victor sighs. “Okay, before you say anything, there’s something I have to tell you.”

She raises one eyebrow. “I’m not mad at you, Victor.”

He blinks in surprise. “Wait, what?”

“I’m worried about you. Before our world fell apart, you were always stupidly able to fix everything with no effort, and you were honestly kind of a suckup. Now, you can barely even look at Mom, and you’re always in bed, but you have these bags under your eyes like you haven’t slept for days.”

She touches his arm, and Victor can’t believe how much she’s had to grow up in their father’s absence. He thinks of her taking care of Adrian, her lack of complaining at all of their changes, and he wants to tell her how much it means to him.

Victor takes in a deep breath. “I haven’t been doing very well. But I think I’m going to get better. I need to tell you what’s happened, though.”

“You really do. Benji called me last night, sounding like he was having a heart attack, and begged me to lie to Mom. I told her you were spending the night at Felix’s, and someone must have been looking out for you because she didn’t question it.”

He looks down, remembering how upset Benji was. “I got home yesterday, and Dad called.”

The shock that takes over her face is immediate and frightened. “What?”

“Yeah, I know. Turns out he’s been calling Mom for a while about money. I hung up on him and ran out, andI ended up getting really drunk. I eventually saw Benji, and he freaked out. He took care of me and I slept at his house last night.”

Her eyebrows go up instantly, and she opens her mouth to say something, but Victor cuts her off.

“No. Not like that. I just stayed the night so I didn’t have to come home and confront Mom. When I was coming in the building, Felix was walking out, and I accidentally hit him in the face with the door and broke his nose.”

“Is that why you’re all bloody?” Pilar asks, nodding to his hands, which Victor had forgotten about cleaning.

He stares at his hands for a moment. “Yeah. I drove him to the emergency room, and he’ll be fine. That’s when Mom called to say she was going north or something to teach a piano lesson. God, I don’t know how I’m going to talk to her.”

Pilar shifts, sitting up suddenly. “Wait, what?”

“I don’t want to face her after she lied to us.” Victor sighs, leaning down to untie his shoes.

“No, not that.” He glances up to look at her, and squints in confusion at her expression. “Mom told me she was going to a job interview.”

“Huh,” Victor remarks. “She told me she was going to see a customer.”

They briefly share a look. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and talk to her when she gets home.” Victor says finally.

“Let me. I want to take the lead.” Pilar says, lifting her chin and looking so defiant that Victor doesn’t want to say no to her.

“Okay.” He says, and then leans over, pulling his sister in for a hug.

She shrieks, pawing at his arms. “Ew!”

“I’m so proud of you!” He teases, holding her in a death grip until she fights him off and punches him in the arm. He hopes she knows he’s not joking.

After talking, Victor and Pilar go to Adrian’s room and they read him Harry Potter for hours. Pilar boredly flips through the pages, distracted by her phone, while Victor does ridiculous voices for the characters and tickles his little brother at the scary parts.

Adrian falls asleep on Victor’s arm around nine, so he tucks his brother into bed and goes to get himself some water. He freezes at the sound of the door opening.

“Hi, mijo, how’s Felix? What happened?” Isabel asks, coming into the kitchen and kissing him on the head.

“Felix is fine. Minor stuff.” He says coldly, shrugging his mother off and stepping out of the kitchen.

He sits on the couch, avoiding her gaze. “Honey, what’s wrong?” She asks, and her voice is dripping with concern.

Victor looks away from her, focusing at a spot on the wall, and he feels her sit next to him. “Victor? Talk to me.”

He relents, turning to her, when Pilar walks in. “No. I will.”

She walks to stand in front of the couch, her eyes burning with fury, and then confusion.

“Mom?” Her voice breaks, and for a moment, it sounds like she’s going to cry. “Your shirt is on backwards.”

Isabel looks down and notices the tag sticking out of her shirt. “Oh,” she laughs nervously. “I can’t believe I’ve gone all day without noticing it.”

“No.” Pilar says, and her voice is grating. “It wasn’t like that when you left this morning. I remember, because Adrian got pancake batter on your collar. Where the hell have you been all day? Are you cheating on Dad again?”

And Victor is mad, mad, mad. He can’t stand the thought of his mother, the one reliable parent he has left, whom he’s already forgiven for her previous wrongdoings, betraying them again. But the genuine surprise on her face brings him to a halt.

“What? Pilar, I don’t,” She sputters, clearly caught off-guard. “I’m not cheating on your father.”

“Bullshit.” Pilar spits. “You gave Victor and me different excuses, and then you come back here with your clothes on backwards.”

Isabel takes a deep breath. “I wasn’t cheating on your father. I was with your father. We’ve been talking recently, and we decided he should try to come back. At least for a few hours.”

“Well, were you gonna tell us?” Victor speaks up, arms crossed over his chest. “We had to figure it out on our own. That you knew exactly where Dad was and didn’t want to tell us. Where even is he? He walked out on his whole family, and you two are still lying to us?” He struggles to keep his voice steady through his anger.

She sighs, looking down. “Armando told me that you picked up the phone earlier. I figured that was why you went to go see Felix. I’m sorry, mis amores. I didn’t want to overwhelm you while your father and I were still talking. He’s up in North Carolina, staying with a friend from work.”

Pilar looks from Victor to her mother, tears burning in her eyes. “Did Dad leave because Victor’s gay?”

Victor shakes his head at her, “Pilar-”

“No. Was Dad always going to leave that night, or was it just because he’s a homophobic bastard?”

“Pilar!” Isabel says, shocked. “I know your father isn’t exactly popular with you two right now, but you can’t talk about him like that.”

“Answer the question.” She responds, challenging her mother, who relents.

She presses her fingers to her temple. “No. It wasn’t the plan. We were going to talk about it as a family, but he had some… ideas, about Victor, and he decided to go. But now he wants to see his children again. He loves you all so much.”

“If he loved me he wouldn’t have acted like my sexuality is something to be ashamed of.” Victor says, his voice barely higher than a whisper. 

“Oh, honey, that’s not true.” Isabel responds, her voice pained. “He loves you so much. He just needs some… time to adjust to this new part of you.”

Victor stands, pushing past his mother’s arm. “Yeah, well, whatever. I’m going out.”

“Please, stay. Let’s talk about this.” Isabel pleads.

Pilar hands him his keys. “Let him go, Mom. You can’t keep controlling us. We’re allowed to recognize what an asshole Dad has been.”

“But honey, he wants to change-”

“Mom, I’m not walking out. Not like Dad did.” Victor sighs, hand clenching around his keys. “I’ll be back soon. I just need to get away from here for awhile.” 

Isabel looks at her children, desperation written all over her face. “Okay.” She says, defeated. “I love you, honey.” She calls after him.

He slams the door behind him with shaking hands.

Victor runs to the sidewalk and sits, his head in his hands, until he hears the soft rumble of a car parking, and the sound of shoes on the pavement. He feels a familiar hand on his back, and looks up to see Benji standing there in his leather jacket.

He throws his arms around him, breathing in his signature smell and burying his face in Benji’s shirt.

“What’s going on, Victor?” He asks softly, placing a gentle kiss on the shell of Victor’s ear.

“Why is my family so messed up?” He says, a question directed more towards himself than anyone else.

Benji doesn’t say anything, and for a moment, Victor thinks he’s crossed some sort of boundary. Benji pulls back, studying Victor intensely for a moment.

“You know what I think?” He says finally. Victor just looks at him, confused and scared. “I think you’ve been responsible for holding up your whole family for so long, that now that you’re going through your own shit, they’re realizing how flawed they are without you.”

Victor thinks. At first he’s confused, and then he’s scared that this might be the truth.

“I… I know Pilar’s been stepping up recently,” he starts cautiously. “I don’t really know. It’s all been so crazy.”

“You don’t have to know.” Benji says, kissing the side of his head softly. “All you have to do right now is come back to my house and let me show you good gay media.”

Victor smiles a little. “How did I end up needing you to take care of me twice in one day?”

Benji pokes him in the chest, grinning. “The universe wants you to watch Dan and Phil videos with me.”

“I still can’t believe you, of the smudgy eyeliner and acoustic covers, watch Dan and Phil.”

“They’re the gay internet’s dads.” Benji scoffs, pulling Victor up by one hand, carefully intertwining their fingers. “But you can’t tell anyone I watch them. It’s a well-kept secret that would totally ruin my cool guy image.”

Victor feels his heart rest as they walk to the car, hand in hand. “I’ll try my best. But the prospect is deeply enticing.”

At Benji’s house, Victor thinks about that morning as they go up the stairs, and it feels like those hours were years ago.

They sit on Benji’s bed, and he pulls out his laptop, pulling up YouTube. “Okay, get ready to have your mind blown.”

He pulls up a video of Dan and Phil reading their texts to each other, and Victor protests almost immediately.

“Okay, they do not text each other when they’re in the same room. That’s not realistic.”

“What? Do you dare accuse them of lying?” Benji responds with false offense.

“There’s no way that’s true. I never text you when we’re in the same room.” Victor argues back.

Benji places an arm around him, shifting his body weight so they’re pressed together. “Maybe that’s just because you like talking to me.”

“Never.” Victor teases, but he’s flushed under the dim light from the screen. Their lips meet, and Victor doesn’t know how to describe what he feels with any word but love.

He loves the way Benji sighs into his mouth, loves the steady familiarity, yet surprising newness that comes every time he gets to kiss him.

They pull apart, and Benji laughs, high and bright. “We got a whole fifty-two seconds into that video.”

“We are excellent at consuming gay media.” Victor responds, smiling.

“I am excellent at other types of gay consuming, too.” Benji says, and Victor chokes on air.

They burst into laughter, and Benji scrunches up his face. “Low-hanging fruit, I know. I’m usually better than that.”

“I expect a higher caliber of innuendo from you, Campbell.” Victor grins, noticing the way Benji colors slightly at the use of his last name.

They kiss again, laughing into each other’s mouths, all slowness and soft pressure. Nothing is rushed. They have all the time in the world. Victor only wishes it could be like this all the time.

So he says so. “I think we should come out.” he says simply, holding eye contact with Benji.

“Like, at school? In public?” Benji asks, clearly shocked. 

“If you want to.” Victor adds quickly.

Benji only smiles from his position on top of him. “Of course I want to. I know I’m already out, but having a relationship at school will be new for me, too. So I’m all in.”

“Yeah?” Victor asks, beaming.

“Yeah.” Benji says back, smiling like they’re the only two people in the world. 

Victor leans in again, but Benji presses a single finger to his lips. “Let me play something for you.” He says, rolling off the bed and picking up his guitar.

“I’m waiting.” Victor calls teasingly.

“Okay, okay. I think it’s tuned.” Benji says, and he starts to strum something that Victor recognizes almost immediately.

_My lover's got humor_

_She's the giggle at a funeral_

_Knows everybody's disapproval_

_I should've worshiped her sooner_

_If the Heavens ever did speak_

_She is the last true mouthpiece_

_Every Sunday's getting more bleak_

_A fresh poison each week_

_"We were born sick", you heard them say it_

_My church offers no absolutes_

_She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom"_

_The only Heaven I'll be sent to_

_Is when I'm alone with you_

_I was born sick, but I love it_

_Command me to be well_

_Amen, Amen, Amen_

_No masters or kings when the ritual begins_

_There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin_

_In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene_

_Only then I am human_

_Only then I am clean_

_Amen, Amen, Amen_

_Take me to church_

_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_

_I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_

_Offer me that deathless death_

_Good God, let me give you my life_

_Take me to church_

_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_

_I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_

_Offer me that deathless death_

_Good God, let me give you my life_

Benji finishes quietly, his gaze remaining on his fingers long after he stops strumming. He’s not looking at Victor, until he is. He looks up suddenly, uncertainty in his eyes, and Victor scrambles off the bed to kiss the uncertainty away.

“You sang me Take Me to Church? And it sounded perfect?” Victor asks in awe, causing Benji to laugh a little.

“I guess so.” He responds, still looking slightly self conscious.

Victor kisses his jaw. “I loved it. You have to do that for me every day now.”

Benji raises his eyebrows. “Every day?”

“At _least_ once per day.” Victor insists, and they laugh together.

Victor looks over at Benji and thinks to himself that he needs this more than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for reading! Thank you to @Cyberbulky for Spanish phrasing help and @jacksonnw for some great editing. There will be no new chapter tomorrow, so this will wrap up on Monday with chapter ten. I hope you enjoyed this one, please leave me a comment as comments fuel my soul!


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor is talks with his mother, is confronted by someone, and solidifies a decision.

Benji’s car pulls up to the front of the apartment building well after Victor’s curfew. For once, he’s not even worried about being so late, he’s only filled with dread at the prospect of seeing his mother again

Benji turns to Victor, his face highlighted by the reflection from his headlights.

“Are you gonna be okay? I can come in with you if you want me to?” Benji asks, his voice full of affection.

“I’ll be alright.” Victor sighs, wishing he could’ve stayed with Benji. “I appreciate the offer, but this is something I need to do alone.”

Benji smiles at him softly. “Okay. Call me if you need me.”

“Please don’t stay up all night worrying. I’ll just break into your house if my mom kicks me out.” Victor jokes, but Benji’s forehead wrinkles with the tiniest bit with concern.

“Hey,” Victor says, putting his hand on Benji’s face. “Really, I’ll be okay. Get some sleep.”

They lean in simultaneously, and Benji holds Victor so tenderly it almost feels loving.

Victor looks down at him, smiling, and places a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Miss you.” Benji whispers, gentle and sweet.

“Lo-” Victor stops short, realizing what he almost said. “Later.” He recovers. Benji gives him an odd look, but he only grins back.

“Goodnight. And thank you, for being there tonight.” He says, moving to open the car door.

“Anytime.” Benji responds almost automatically as he watches Victor go.

They share one last smile before Victor closes the door, nerves taking over his stomach as he makes his way to the apartment.

He takes a deep breath before pushing open the door, and what he sees causes him to stop in his tracks.

His mother, pointing at something on the iPad, and his sister, looking on and laughing. Their red-rimmed eyes are highlighted by the glow of the screen.

At the sound of his footsteps, they look up, and Isabel smiles.

“Come, mijo, sit.” She says, moving on the couch so he can sit.

Victor shoots a brief look at Pilar as he moves to the couch, feeling slightly betrayed, but her eyes say  _ “hear me out.” _

“I’m not going to ask where you were, because I know you’ve been going through some problems tonight,” she starts, giving him a pointed look. “But I do need to know that you’re safe.”

He gives her a curt nod, feeling so unlike himself, and she smiles back at him.

“Alright, honey. Pilar and I have talked on the phone with your father, and he’s going to come back home for a few days.”

Victor listens, unsure of what she’s trying to say.

“And we’ve all decided that you should invite Benji here for dinner, so we can all formally meet him.”

He looks from his mother to his sister, shocked. “What? Like, with Dad here?”

Isabel nods, looking at him hopefully. “We knew you might not be immediately on board with the idea, but he’s been doing some learning, and I promise I wouldn’t let him back here if I thought he’d do or say anything to hurt you.”

Victor holds his hands up, ready to refuse, when Pilar places a hand on his shoulder. For a moment, he’s thrown by how much her gentle expression reminds him of their mother.

“I talked to him. It seems like the truth, Victor.” Pilar says, and the assuredness in her eyes makes Victor want to believe her.

He looks at the two of them. Desperation has become achingly familiar in his mother, but the similar pleading look in his sister’s eyes worries him. He thinks back to their anger at their mother’s affair, how much she couldn’t stand the changes in their lives.

“Okay. I’ll invite Benji, but if he doesn’t want to come, I’m not going to try to convince him.” Victor replies. He very much wants to cross his arms over his chest and storm off, but if Pilar is acting like an adult, then he needs to more than ever.

The matching smiles he gets from his mother and sister are so out of place that he wonders if he’s walked into the wrong apartment.

“Shawn Mendes is live on Instagram. I’m going to my room. Don’t bother me.” Pilar says, flipping her hair once and walking away. Isabel sighs briefly.

Victor breathes out in relief, knowing there are still some things about his sister that haven’t changed.

“I’m going to bed,” he says, feeling a sudden rush of exhaustion. “Goodnight, mom.”

“Goodnight, mi amor. Have sweet dreams.” His mother says, looking at him with a slightly lost expression.

He barrels into her, giving her a tight hug and feeling like he’s seven again.

The wisp of a smile that’s left on her face as he walks away makes him think he’s done something good for the first time in months.

Victor wakes the next morning to his little brother sprinkling glitter all over his face.

“Adrian? What are you doing?” He sputters, trying not to inhale. Adrian giggles maniacally and throws another handful of glitter at his bare chest before running away.

From the doorway, Pilar calls after him. “Keep that out of my room!”

“You just sat there and watched while I got assaulted by glitter?” Victor yells at her, mostly joking. He grabs a shirt and tries to sweep the glitter off his chest before giving up and just putting the shirt on.

“I tried shaking you awake, but you wouldn’t budge, so it’s technically your fault.” She responds with a shrug, moving to sit next to him on his bed.

Victor runs a hand through his hair, dismayed when it comes back covered in glitter. “What do you want, anyway?”

“What are you doing today?”

He thinks back to how ridiculous his last few days have been. “It’s Sunday, so nothing. I might try to hang out with Benji before his parents get home tonight.” The look on Pilar’s face tells him he definitely should not have brought up Benji. 

“Ooh! So I could ask him to give me a guitar lesson today?” She says, looking up at him sweetly.

Victor sighs. “I guess so.” She speedwalks out of the room, already on her phone. “Be nice to him!” He calls after her.

He’s in the bathroom, trying to fix his hair, when his phone rings.

“So, Pilar just messaged me on Instagram to “bring my guitar and my teaching skills” to your house at one pm.” Benji’s voice comes from the other end of the line, and Victor laughs.

He balances the phone on his shoulder. “Well, you should probably listen to her.”

“I have to get in good with the family.” Benji jokes, and Victor swallows harshly.

“Uh, yeah, speaking of that-” 

Suddenly, Adrian bursts into the bathroom. “Victor, Victor!” He screams. “Mommy says you have to buy me Shopkins!”

Benji laughs over the phone, and Victor gives Adrian a firm look. “Go wait in the kitchen and I’ll consider it.”

“Mommy said!” Adrian whines, but he trails out of the bathroom, leaving the door open. 

“Sorry about that,” Victor says, laughing. “I gotta go. My mom has a client soon and Adrian’s acting super hyper.”

“I guess I’ll see you at one?” Benji says, and Victor can hear his smile.

“If you’re lucky. Pilar will probably expect you to have her playing Bad Guy by the end of the hour.” Victor says, throwing some gel in his hair.

“I’m flattered by her expectations.” Benji responds, and they both start laughing.

Victor shakes his head, grinning. “I’ll see you later?”

“Not if I see you first.” 

Victor walks into the kitchen to see his mother, looking like she’s at her wits’ end, with Adrian hanging off her leg.

“Hi, honey, do you think you could take your brother to the store? He wants some Littlest Pet Shop thing.” She says, leaning over a pot of coffee.

“Sure, Mom.” Victor says easily. “I’ll take him to the toy store.”

“Shopkins!” Adrian yells, letting go of his mother to run screaming into the living room.

Isabel looks down at him, brushing a stray piece of hair back from her face. “Ah, yes, the sentient grocery store products. How could I forget?”

“Oh, and do you think you could look at guitar prices at the music store that’s out there? Pilar wants one for her birthday, but I have no idea how high they run.”

Victor tries not to laugh at the frazzled look in his mother’s eyes. “Okay, I will. And Mamá?”

She looks up from a stack of papers. “Yes?”

“Take a second to breathe and calm down. And maybe take the pencil out of your hair.” He advises.

Isabel looks around for a second, visibly relaxing. “Yes, yes I will. Thank you, mijo.”

He smiles at his mother, then turns to the living room. “Adrian! If you want to go, we’re leaving now!”

Adrian comes running back into the room. He grabs onto Victor’s hand as they walk to the car, hopping into the back seat of the minivan.

He babbles on about the toys he wants the entire ride, squealing in delight when he sees the display. 

“I’m going to name this one Frank, and this one Fred, and this one is named after Felix…” He says from the back seat, with Victor only half paying attention.

“Wait, why do they all have names that start with f?” Victor asks, parking in front of the music store and unbuckling his seatbelt.

When he opens the back door, Adrian is giving him a confused look. “Because f is my  _ favorite _ letter.” He says, as if it was obvious.

“Oh, right, how could I have forgotten.” Victor responds, pulling Adrian out of the car by his armpits. “Leave Frank and Felix and the other one here for now. We just need to run in so I can look at some of the guitar prices.

They walk into the store, and Victor freezes, because Derek is standing right in front of a display of picks.

He stands there for a moment, until Adrian pulls on his hand impatiently. “Can I go look at the egg shakers?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll get you in a minute.” He says, trying to keep his voice as low as possible, but it doesn’t make any difference. Derek turns around and sees him, and his expression immediately becomes cold.

“Hey, man.” Victor says cautiously. At first, he’s ready to try and avoid a conversation, but then he remembers how Derek treated Benji, and he plants his feet.

“Yeah, okay, don’t give me that, ‘hey man’ crap. I know you’re dating Benji now, or whatever, but we were together for a year, so don’t think you’re hot shit because he took you on a couple dates.” The hostility seems to radiate off of him, and Victor takes an unconscious step back.

Then he looks at Derek, and realizes he doesn’t have any reason to be afraid of a jealous, insecure jackass like him.

“We’re actually in a fully committed relationship.” Victor deadpans, crossing his arms over his chest.

Derek almost does a good job of hiding his shock. “Committed? That’s what you call him crawling back to me a week after you ‘got together’?”

Victor knows what he’s trying to do, and it’s not going to work. “He asked me ahead of time if I would be okay with you two talking, and he told me about it right after, so don’t act like something happened that didn’t, because we talk about everything.”

They stare at each other for a moment, and Victor can’t resist getting the last word as he walks past. “He told me because we’re honest with each other, and I’m going to tell him about this when I see him in fifteen minutes.” He spits out, grabbing his brother’s hand and pulling him out of the store.

“Who was that?” Adrian asks when Victor lets his head fall on the steering wheel, accidentally honking the horn.

He sighs, shoving the key in the ignition. “No one.”

“It seemed weird. He got mad at you.”

Victor can tell his brother knows something happened, so he decides to try to explain. “You know how Benji and I are together?”

“Mhm.”

“Well, that guy used to be with Benji, before we got together. And he’s mad that Benji likes me instead.” Victor tries to make it simple.

Adrian is silent for a moment, a rarity for him. “I’m happy that Benji likes you. I like Benji. He’s nice to me.”

Victor smiles a tiny bit. “Me too.”

When they park in front of their building, Benji’s car is already there, and Victor curses himself for engaging with Derek at all.

He opens the door, and Benji is there in the living room, holding his guitar and talking to Isabel. They’re laughing about something, and Victor just wants to freeze this moment forever.

“Oh, hey.” Benji says, smiling at him, and Victor pulls him in for a kiss, not caring that his mother is right there.

When he pulls back, Benji looks surprised, and his cheeks are pink. Victor stares at him a moment before Isabel clears his throat, and when they turn, she’s grinning at them.

Pilar chooses that moment to walk in. “C’mon, Benji. I wanna learn Bad Guy.” She says, grabbing his arm and walking back toward her room.

Benji gives Victor a tiny shrug, still flushed. “I’ll see you when we’re done?”

“Yep.” Victor says, bouncing on his heels a little, and he avoids his mother’s knowing gaze.

“He’s very charming.” She says, still holding that little smile. Victor just raises his eyebrows, so she drops it.

“Did you find a good estimate of a guitar for Pilar?” Isabel asks, sipping a mug of tea.

Victor winces, remembering his conversation with Derek at the music shop. It had been so tense he’d completely forgotten why he was there in the first place. “No, they, uh, weren’t open. But I’ll look some up.”

She gives him a questioning look, but she must sense something deeper, so she doesn’t press.

“Get on it, then!” She teases, smacking him with a dish towel. He holds his hands up and walks backward, until he reaches his room.

He’s on his bed, scrolling through prices, when his mother knocks softly. “Apparently there’s something wrong with Adrian’s toy, so I’m going to take him back to the toy store and get an exchange before he kills someone. Will you guys be okay here?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” He responds, looking up and smiling at her. She kisses the top of his head and walks out.

It’s about an hour later when he hears another knock, and this time, when Victor looks up, he sees Benji smiling at him.

“Are you busy?” He asks, leaning against the doorframe. 

Victor drops his iPad immediately. “Nope. Not at all.” He says quickly, and they both laugh.

Benji walks in, closing the door behind him with a pointed glance.

Victor raises his eyebrows, but all Benji does is sit next to him on the bed and grab his hand. “Pilar is doing really well. I think she’ll pick it up quickly.”

“That’s good. I think we’re going to get her a guitar for her birthday.” Victor responds, running the pad of his thumb over Benji’s hand.

Benji murmurs agreement, leaning to put his head on Victor’s shoulder. “Where were you when I got here?”

“Adrian was begging for some toy. But, we stopped at the music store to look at guitar prices and something happened. I saw Derek there, and things got kind of heated.”

Victor feels him tense, so he reaches over with his spare hand and runs it through Benji’s hair, relaxing him almost immediately.

“He tried to pull some shit, but we already talked about everything. I don’t care about that asshole, but I do care about you, so I kinda told him off.” 

Benji shakes his head a tiny bit. “I know that I shouldn’t have broken up with him at a school dance, but he put me in a really difficult position.” 

“I know,” Victor responds, placing a kiss on his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He pulls Benji in front of him, studying the lines of his face. “I know what’ll make you feel better.”

“Oh?” Benji raises one eyebrow, and all Victor can think about is how much he loves that little talent.

He pulls Benji in close, meeting his eyes for a moment before he kisses him. It’s gentle, and loving, and Victor is quietly thanking God for this boy.

Benji pushes him back on the bed, and Victor’s brain short circuits. He sighs happily when Benji pushes his hands up his shirt. Victor gasps at the feeling of skin on skin, a low moan falling from his lips.

“Wait, is this… glitter?” Benji says in disbelief, and Victor laughs as he pulls him back in.

They stay like that for a while, exploring each other hungrily, until Victor’s shirt is off and Benji’s mouth is on his neck.

Suddenly, they hear the door open. “Oh, God, gross!” Comes Pilar’s voice from the doorway, and she runs off immediately. The door slams shut and they look at each other and start cracking up with laughter.

Then Victor’s phone buzzes and he reads the text from Pilar.

_ Mom is home. Please be wearing clothes when you walk out into the kitchen _

“Who is it?” Benji asks, moving to read over Victor’s shoulder. 

“Pilar. My mom is home, and I’m supposed to be fully dressed when I go out there.” 

Benji buries his face into a pillow, embarrassed. “I can’t believe your sister walked in on us making out.” He says, voice muffled.

Victor laughs, poking him in the side. “C’mon. We’d better go prove to Pilar that nothing R-rated is happening.”

“Nope. Too mortified. You go.” Benji responds, still talking into the pillow.

“Oh, like this?” Victor asks teasingly.

Benji springs up immediately. “No! I never thought I’d say this to you, but please put a shirt on.”

“Only for you, babe.” Victor says, pulling on his shirt and standing up.

“Ooh, yes. Reverse striptease.” Benji calls, sitting up on the bed.

Victor bursts into laughter again. He grabs Benji’s hand and pulls him off the bed. “You’re insane.”

They walk into the kitchen, hand in hand, and Pilar glares hard at them. “Y’all are nasty.”

Victor snorts, and that gets him a look from Benji. “Hi, Mrs. Salazar. Thank you for having me over. I’ve got to get home for dinner, but I had a great time teaching Pilar.”

Isabel smiles at him. “I’m sure she had fun too… oh, no. Did Adrian glitter-bomb you? Adrian! I said no glitter for our guests!” She calls, and Adrian decides to squeeze himself under the couch.

She sighs, turning back to the boys. “Sorry about that. He likes to put glitter in odd places.”

Benji’s mischievous grin scares Victor but also makes his skin heat up. “Oh, yes. Really weird places.”

Victor’s eyes go wide and he pushes Benji toward the door. “Sorry, Mom! He’s in a rush!” He says, opening the door and pulling him through it.

“You. Are. So. Cheeky.” Victor says once they’re in the hall, laughing into Benji’s shoulder.

“Oh come on. The opportunity was right there!” 

Benji smiles widely, and Victor loves him so much he’s afraid he might spontaneously combust.

“Get out of here.” He says jokingly, tracing a hand down Benji’s chest.

“Only if you kiss me goodbye.” Benji says back, gasping the tiniest bit when Victor’s fingers ghost over his neck.

“So promiscuous for the hallway.” Victor murmurs, but he leans down and kisses him all the same.

They hold it for a moment, happy until Pilar bangs on the door from the inside. “I’m going to come out of this door in one minute and if Benji is not gone I will remove him forcibly!”

“Well, we have one minute until your death.” Victor says flatly, causing them to shake with laughter.

“Okay, okay, I’m going. I’ll see you tomorrow? At school?” Benji asks, and Victor knows the question isn’t whether or not they’ll be at school together, but whether or not they’ll be at school  _ together. _

Victor answers with a smile. “I will see you and your cute face in the atrium, in front of everyone, at 7:12 am exactly, so don’t be late.”

The smile that spreads across Benji’s face is so blinding it hurts, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big info dump coming up! Essentially, I knew I said this fic would have ten chapters and wrap up today, but I think I'm going to need eleven, so that's happening. I really don't want to let go of this story, but the natural conclusion will be in another two chapters. Also, I'm sorry there was no new chapter yesterday and the day before that! I was very busy, and because of a health condition I have, whenever I do anything my body stops working so I will be stuck in bed with my laptop, finishing this fic up. As always, thank you to @Cyberbulky for helping with Spanish translations, and thank you to my awesome beta @jacksonnw! The editing process is so much easier on me now and the writing is flowing so much better, I couldn't be happier with it! The archive won't let me credit jacksonnw as a co-creator for some reason but they should be one.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's been leaving me such lovely comments, I really appreciate those and they mean so much to me. Please keep leaving them if you enjoy this!


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor confronts another part of his life.

Victor watches Benji walk off, smiling like an idiot. He shakes his head, opening the door to the apartment. 

His mother is standing in the kitchen, on the phone. He gives her a smile and walks to his room, almost closing the door behind him before he hears something that stops him in his tracks.

“Okay, Armando. Sounds good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Victor turns, watching his mother put down her phone on the counter. He walks back out into the kitchen, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Was that Dad?” He asks hesitantly, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Oh! You scared me, honey. Yes, that was your father. He’s going to come home tomorrow. You should ask Benji to come over for dinner.” She suggests, looking hopeful.

He remembers his promise, and sighs. “Okay, I’ll ask him.”

Isabel smiles at him, moving to rest her hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, mijo. I know this is asking a lot of you. I hope you know how proud I am of you.” 

Victor accepts her hug, filled with both warmth and worry for the next day.

He texts Benji as soon as he gets back to his room.

_ Call me when you get home? _

The phone rings a few minutes later, and Victor picks it up immediately.

“Hey, baby,” Benji says softly. “My parents are asleep, what’s up?”

“Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow?” Victor blurts out. 

“Sure?” Benji responds, laughing a little. “Are you okay?”

“My dad’s coming home. He wants to meet you.” Victor says, very quickly.

There’s a short pause before Benji speaks again. “Do you want me to meet him?” He asks carefully.

Victor surprises himself with his answer. “You know, I wasn’t sure until like five minutes ago, but yeah, I do.”

“Okay. What time do you want me to come over?”

“Drive me home from school and come with me?” 

“It’s a date.” Benji says, and Victor smiles despite himself. “I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Sure. Goodnight.” Victor says, hanging up the phone.

Talking to Benji always makes him happy, but by the time he’s ready to go to sleep, Victor’s thoughts are filled with anxiety.

He tosses and turns all night, dreading seeing his father. When he wakes up, there are bags under his eyes.

Victor pulls himself out of bed and gets ready for school, wanting to see Benji more than anything else.

He’s barely dressed by the time Felix knocks on the door.

“Hey man. I have to meet Benji once we get to school.” He says, walking behind Felix down the stairs.

“Oh? Any particular reason?” Felix responds, partially distracted by his phone.

“Yeah. We’re coming out.”

Felix stops short, almost falling down the stairs. “Wait, what?”

“Keep walking, we can’t be late.” Victor says, a small smile on his face.

Felix keeps walking, but looks at Victor with a slightly shocked expression on his face. “Wait. Backtrack. You’re coming out? As in, to the whole school?”

“Yep.” Victor says nonchalantly. “And we’re gonna be late if you don’t stop acting like an idiot , so come on.”

“Dude, that’s great! I’m so happy for you!” Felix says, and when Victor sees the way he smiles he knows he couldn’t have asked for a better friend in the world.

“Yeah, yeah.” He says, and Felix slings an arm around his shoulder.

They walk through the school doors, and Victor checks the time. 7:09.

“So, are we thinking full pride flags, fireworks, I could also arrange for a skywriter-” Felix says, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“And there’s Benji.” Victor interrupts, smiling and waving at him.

“Have a gay old time!” Felix responds, clapping him on the back and walking away.

Benji sees Victor, and he smiles. “Hey.” He greets.

“Hi.” Victor says, slightly breathless.

Benji looks into Victor’s eyes with a serious expression. “Are you sure you want to do this? There’s no going back from here.”

Victor thinks back to everything that’s happened to him in the last six months, and how he wouldn’t give up what he has for the world.

“Of course I’m sure.” He says, grabbing Benji’s hand and intertwining their fingers.

“Okay then.” Benji says, beaming.

They walk through the crowded atrium together to the confused looks of their classmates, standing tall the entire time.

A guy Victor doesn’t recognize stares at them blatantly for a moment. “Are you guys, like, gay or something?” 

A small crowd forms, mostly people glancing at the situation and whispering.

For once, Benji doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, we are.” He says, gripping Victor’s hand tightly.

The guy stares back at him, and the moment is very tense. “Oh. Okay.” He says, turning and walking back to his friends.

The people disperse, and Victor takes a breath. “Wow. You are so hot when you stand up to ignorant people.”

Benji laughs a little, relaxing after holding his body so rigid. “Come on, I’m gonna be late for class.”

They walk together, travelling through the halls as a unit, until they reach Benji’s class.

“Come sit with me at lunch?” Victor asks impulsively, looking down at Benji.

“Sure.” He responds easily. “I’ll see you then.”

Victor gives his hand one last squeeze. “Bye.”

At lunch, Victor hurries to the table. Mia, Lake, and Felix are all there, and he sees Benji walking up from the other direction.

“Hi.” He greets, grabbing Benji’s hand and pulling him into a seat next to him.

“Hey, guys.” Benji says to everyone at the table.

Felix grins, Mia gives a tiny smile, and Lake looks slightly confused.

“Not that I’m complaining, God knows we need more hot people here, but is there any reason you’re joining us today?” Lake asks Benji.

“Hey!” Felix exclaims. 

“You’re the exception, babe.” Lake dismisses him, looking back at Benji. “So?” She prompts.

Benji leans back a bit, looking at Victor, who puts an arm around him.

“Actually, Lake, we’re a couple.” Victor supplies.

She blinks a couple times. “Wait, what? For how long?”

Victor grimaces slightly. “Since the night of the Spring Fling?”

“Actually, we didn’t  _ officially  _ get together until the next day.” Benji says, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Shut up.” Victor grins. He then looks back at Lake. “But yeah, since then.”

“So that’s why…” She turns to look at Mia. “You knew about this?”

Mia nods, putting down her drink and offering a smile. “Yeah. We’ve talked.” She shares a smile with Victor.

“Wow. Mind blown, y’all.” Lake says, looking at them critically. “But good for you. I’ll have to be the first to analyze your relationship on CreekSecrets.”

Victor and Benji exchange a look, and Victor shrugs. “At least let me post a gross couple selfie first?”

“Perfect,” she responds, flipping her hair once. “It’ll give me some material to work with.”

Benji grabs his phone. “I wanna do it.” He says, opening Instagram and pulling up the picture from their first date.

Victor pushes his hair back, smiling at the concentrated look on Benji’s face. He looks up at the feeling of eyes on him to see all three of his friends staring at him.

“You guys are so cute.” Lake sighs, taking her own picture of them.

“Agreed.” Mia responds, gaining a nod from Felix.

“Okay, no caption is the best caption. Can I post it?” Benji says, turning Victor’s phone so he can see.

It’s the picture of them kissing, and Victor smiles at how happy they look. “Go ahead. I love it.”

After a few minutes, Lake finishes tapping on her phone and looks up. “Okay, big ally CreekSecrets post is up now.”

Victor picks up his phone, opening the website, with Benji reading over his shoulder.

_ Are Victor Salazar and Benji Campbell actually dating? See for yourself, because yes, they are, and it couldn’t be more adorable: _

The pictures of them are so wholesome, so much so that Victor leans down and kisses Benji softly, just for a moment.

Benji pokes him in the shoulder. “You’re gonna come sit with my friends tomorrow.”

“What friends?” Victor teases.

“So harsh.” Benji tuts. “This is like Mean Girls.”

“Well I wouldn’t know, I’ve never actually seen Mean Girls.” Victor admits. 

Benji sits up. “Wait a minute? Lake, are you hearing this?”

She nods, crossing her arms. “Victor, how can you be gay without having seen Mean Girls?”

They all laugh, and sitting there with his arm around Benji, in front of all his friends, Victor feels invincible.

Until he’s not.

He’s at his locker with Felix at the end of the school day when they see the word written plainly in permanent marker.

Victor has heard it before, seen how much it can hurt other people, and he’s always understood why it’s so wrong, but he’s never felt the impact of it before.

Seeing it scribbled so simply on his locker hits him like a truck.

“Shit.” Felix breathes. “I’ll go get some cleaner, I know where it is from detention. Stay here.” He runs down the hallway, and Victor can feel people looking at him, but he keeps his head down and he can’t look any of them in the eye.

“Hey, you weren’t outside, are you-” Benji stops once he sees the word scrawled across the metal. “Oh. Fuck. Victor, I’m so sorry.”

Victor breathes in and out once trying not to get angry. “It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but it’s not your fault.”

Felix comes back and immediately starts scrubbing the locker with a sponge. “I can’t believe those fuckers. People at this school will do all sorts of fucked up shit if they think anyone else will find it funny.”

Victor thinks about how hard it must have been for Felix to grow up in this town, hearing Lone Stone every day, seeing it written on the walls.

“This is probably nothing compared to some of the crap you’ve been through. I’m sorry, Felix, you don’t have to clean it off.”

Felix finishes scrubbing, drying off the metal. “Already gone. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks, man.” Benji says. “We really have to go, though.”

“Yeah, thank you.” Victor adds.

“No need. That was some real assfuckery.” Felix says, giving Victor one last concerned look before walking away.

Victor turns toward the door, holding on tight to Benji’s hand, but Benji stops him.

“Wait, hold on.” He says, scrolling through his phone. “Okay. Look at this.”

He hands his phone to Victor, who recognizes the CreekSecrets blog right away. Benji’s opened the comments, and with shaking fingers, he reads a few.

_ omg?? these two are together?? iconic _

_ This is so cute! They’re adorable :) _

_ Finally a cute gay couple at Creekwood _

_ i’m so glad they can be together in public. fuck homophobia!! _

_ This has big Simon Spier energy _

“Not everyone is against us.” Benji says softly. “In reality, it’s probably just a few assholes.”

Victor loves him so much that he impulsively kisses him right there in the hallway.

They walk to Benji’s car hand in hand, and the drive to Victor’s apartment is filled with a lot of nervous energy.

When they’re standing in front of the apartment, Benji looks up at Victor. 

“You ready? He asks, his voice steady and sure.

“As long as you’re here next to me, I’m ready for anything.” Victor responds, grabbing Benji’s hand. He opens the door and sees his father sitting in their living room for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a more transitional chapter, so it's not exactly on par with Victor getting drunk and crying, but I hope you liked it all the same! Thank you so much to @jacksonnw for beta-ing this fic so well and especially on this chapter. Please leave me a comment if you enjoyed this!
> 
> I read Love, Creekwood last night and cried for hours. If you've read the original book. LotO, Upside, or even just seen the show, please check it out. It's an adorable little collection of happiness and angst from the characters we know and love.


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor finally has an important talk, and makes a completely unrelated important declaration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im cryin

As soon as Victor is through the door, his father stands and pulls him into a quick, tight hug. Victor is surprisingly happy to see him, but it angers him when he notices his father barely spares Benji a glance.

“How was school, mijo?” He asks, as though nothing is out of place.

Victor can feel everyone else in the room holding their breath. He doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know if he can speak, and the only thing keeping him grounded is the warm steadiness of Benji’s hand.

“Uh, fine.” Victor says, finally looking his dad in the eye. He sees desperation, and that’s when Victor knows his father is trying to make things work “Dad, this is Benji. My boyfriend.”

“Benji!” Adrian says, running into the room and barrelling straight into Benji’s legs to hug him. Benji laughs, ruffling his hair, and the tension is momentarily broken.

Benji straightens from where he was leaning to greet Adrian. “It’s nice to meet you again, Mr. Salazar.” 

Armando looks between them for a second before he smiles. It’s confused, and maybe slightly forced, but something tells Victor it isn’t fake.

“Nice to meet you too, Benji.” He extends his hand, and after a second of hesitation that Victor is sure he’s the only one to notice, Benji shakes it.

“Firm handshake! This one’s a keeper, Armando!” Isabel says, and Victor makes a conscious effort not to cringe, but he’s glad she’s trying to lighten the mood.

The room stills for a moment, before Pilar speaks up. “I’m hungry. Can we please get over this awkwardness and eat now?”

“Sure!” Her mother says. “I made some chicken, and it should be just about ready. Pilar, can you please set the table?”

“Why doesn’t Victor have to help set the table?” She grumbles, and Victor’s ready to jump in when his father interjects.

“Because your brother’s… guest is here. Adrian, go help your sister.” He says. 

Victor grits his teeth, remembering the moment when he didn’t refer to Derek as Benji’s boyfriend, and now he knows how they must’ve felt. Benji grips Victor’s hand tighter, comforting both of them.

“It smells great, Mrs. Salazar.” Benji offers.

She smiles at him. “Thank you, Benji. Is it Benjamin?’

Victor laughs quietly. “Yeah, but he hates it when people call him that.”

Benji kicks his leg. “It’s really not a problem, but I usually just go by Benji.”

“Victor! Be nice!” Isabel says, walking into the kitchen. 

When Victor looks back at his father, he’s surprised by the amount of pain he can see in his face. Armando looks slightly upset, but mainly… out of place. It’s jarring for Victor to think that Benji has become a more normal part of his life than his father.

Pilar sticks her head out of the kitchen. “The table’s set, you can all come sit down now.”

Victor leads Benji in, sitting next to him at the table. 

“You’re going to have to let go of my hand if you want to let me eat.” Benji whispers, a hint of laughter in his eyes.

“Nope. No eating. Just keep holding onto me.” Victor responds, using his free right hand to pick up his fork and take a bite. “Mm, Mom, it’s really good.”

Benji shakes his head, smiling, and picks up his fork with his left hand. “I’m here for you, dork, at least let me eat.”

They all eat in silence for a while before Armando sits up in his chair, looking at Victor and Benji.

“So, how did you two... get... together?” He asks awkwardly, and Victor carefully pulls his hand free to set it on top of Benji’s. 

“Well, we work together at Brasstown, and we go to school together. We’ve been friends for a while now, and at the dance, we both realized we had feelings for each other. After that, it just kind of happened.” Victor responds, trying not to let any anger seep into his voice. 

He knows his dad is just trying to figure out how he and Benji got together, but it makes him much too angry that his own father doesn’t know the first thing about what’s happening in his life.

“Hm.” His father responds. “Benji, I thought you were with that other guy. Y’know, the one from Victor’s birthday party?”

“Dad.” Victor says, his voice cutting.

“No, it’s fine.” Benji says casually. “We actually broke up the night of the dance. Don’t worry, Mr. Salazar, I only have eyes for this one.” He nods toward Victor, prompting a smile from him.

“And you’re very sweet together.” Isabel says, shooting a warning look at her husband.

Adrian looks between his mother and father. “Benji let me paint on his legs the other day.” He says, trying to ease the tension.

“It was pretty funny when we realized it wasn’t washable.” Pilar remarks, speaking for the first time that dinner.

“Took Victor like, three hours to get it off.” Benji says, causing everyone to laugh.

Victor smiles at him. “Your poor towels.”

“So where do you live, Benji?” Armando asks, resting both of his elbows on the table, and Victor wants to glare at his father. Everything he’s saying is only making things more tense.

Victor just catches the tiny quiver in Benji’s voice as he responds. “Uh, a little further east. About fifteen minutes away. It’s not much of a drive.”

“Do you two hang out there a lot?” Armando asks, and Victor silently clenches a fist under the table.

Benji gently works his fingers back into Victor’s. “Sometimes. My dad works from home, so he’s there most of the time.”

Victor notices how he pointedly doesn’t mention how that job often takes his dad away on trips, leaving them with the house to themselves for hours at a time.

Armando nods once, seemingly thinking about something. “Do your parents know about… this?”

Benji swallows, and Victor jumps in. “Yes, his parents know about us, and you can say the word gay, Dad.”

“No, I know.” Armando says, looking slightly frantic. “I’m just still not sure what to call it, y’know, between you two.” 

“He’s my boyfriend” He says flatly. “It’s really not that complicated.”

Benji traces calming patterns on his hand, feeling how tightly Victor’s fingers are wrapped in his.

Armando doesn’t say anything else, and they eat the rest of the meal in relative silence. Occasionally, Isabel tries to tell a story from her work, or Adrian says something that brings a little laughter from everyone, but they can all feel the tension in the air.

Finally, Pilar tries to get Victor some time alone with their father, after complaining about having to clear the plates. “Adrian, do you want to help me put makeup on Benji?”

“Yes! I want to be like James Charles!” He responds, and Victor has to stifle a laugh, the smile dropping from his face when he sees his father’s expression.

“Come on.” Pilar says, looking at Benji. “Let’s get away from this shitshow.” She mutters, grabbing her little brother by the hand.

“I’ll see you in a bit?” Benji questions.

“Yeah,” Victor responds. “Have fun.”

Benji squeezes his hand, standing. “Dinner was great, Mrs. Salazar. I’m a little scared to see what Adrian does to my face, but I’ll take one for the team.”

“Thank you. And you should be more scared of Pilar. Those brushes are like weapons in her hands.” She laughs, watching him be led away by Adrian.

She then looks from her husband to her son. “I’ll leave you two alone.” She says quietly, slipping out of the kitchen and down the hall.

Armando sighs, putting his head in his hands. “I’m really trying, mijo-”

Victor laughs sharply. “Really, you call that trying?”

“I’ve been reading up on this new part of you, I swear.” He pleads.

“I’m gay, Dad, not trying a new sport. It sounds like you have a lot more reading to do.” Victor says, throwing his napkin down and moving to walk out of the kitchen.

“I don’t know how you expect things to get any better if you won’t talk to me about this!” His father calls after him angrily.

Something sparks inside Victor. Anger he’s been holding in for months. Shame that he knows is irrational, but it’s been there all the same. And he’s fucking tired of letting it consume him while he sits idly by.

“I’m the one who didn’t want to talk about it? You and Mom decided to drop a bomb on us after a fucking school dance and then you walked out when you couldn’t handle the fact that I like guys!”

He’s full-on yelling now, screaming at his own father, and he can’t stop.

“I had to go through everything by myself while my family was literally falling apart and I had no idea how to fix any of it! All I’ve ever done is try to keep everyone happy, and then you just disappeared on us, and Mom didn’t even tell us she knew where you were!”

Armando takes a step back, clearly shocked. “Victor, I had to wrap my head around this. You’re my son, and I love you. I just don’t know anything about this choice of yours.”

“What? Being gay? Which isn’t a choice, by the way, or do you mean being with Benji?” Victor throws his hands over his head, trying to cool down, and failing.

“This… boy. I don’t trust him. I mean, Victor, you’re not stupid.” Armando says, anger building in his own voice. “He was clearly with someone else at your party. You can’t trust someone like that.”

Victor turns to his father, an incredulous look on his face. “Are you serious? What, do you think gay people can’t be in relationships? That they just look for someone new to mess around with every week?”

“Look at the facts, Victor, it’s just not realistic. I mean, I know you were with Mia, but that was different, because you were, well, the way you are-”

“I love him.” Victor says. His voice isn’t like it was before. Now, it’s angry in a deeper, more raw way. He’s furious. It comes out in the low tones of his voice, something he’s never heard from himself before.

“I love him,” he says carefully. “And you don’t get to decide if that’s okay. This is my life. You can be happy for me or you can stop being a part of it, it’s your choice.”

Armando steps back as if he’s been physically hit. “You’re… in love?”

“Dad, I love him more than anything.” Victor says, and suddenly he’s crying in front of his father.

Victor sees a mix of emotions flit across his father’s face. He watches carefully as Armando takes in the full extent of what he’s done.

“Oh… God. Son, I’m so sorry.” Armando says, looking pitiful in a way Victor has never seen. “I was so worried about fixing things with your mom that I didn’t even realise how much I was hurting you.”

He stands a bit taller, as if he’s shucking off the layers of hatred and ignorance that he previously wore with pride, exchanging them for newfound learning.

“I know I walked out on this family once, but I won’t do it again. Not when I know I have so much to make up for.”

That makes Victor start to cry for real, angry sobs wracking his body.

“I can’t even… mijo, I’m so sorry.” His father walks across the room and pulls him into a tight hug. “It’s your life. You’ve become such a smart, and kind, and respectful young man. Of course you can make your own decisions. I’m sorry I tried to take that away from you.”

“It’s okay.” Victor chokes out, and he’s shocked at himself for saying and believing it. “I forgive you.”

“Oh, Victor, I love you. And I’m so proud of you.” His father’s voice is slightly muffled, and Victor realizes he’s crying.

Victor takes a moment to think about everything that’s happened to him. His life has been insane recently, and he has no idea how he’d have gotten through it without Benji. 

“I love you too.” He says in response, and when his father lets him go, both of their eyes are red.

His father pauses for a moment, as if he’s contemplating whether or not he should say something. “I’m happy you’re happy. Whoever that may be with.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Victor says, but he knows there’s something else. “Are you going to come back home?”

“For tonight, at least. Your mother and I have some talking to do. Pilar’s going to a friend’s after she drops Adrian off at a sleepover, so we were hoping to have some time with as few children as possible.” 

Victor thinks for a moment. “Well, we’d all be happy if you did.” He says, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room, where he promptly freezes in his tracks.

Pilar is standing in the living room, looking slightly shocked and more than a little concerned, and Benji is standing next to her, his face fresh scrubbed and still a slightly glittery.

“Benji, I-” Victor starts, unsure of what he’s even going to say.

He’s cut off when Benji kisses him suddenly, hungry and searing. Victor stumbles back in surprise, but Benji holds him tight, and even though it only lasts a second, Victor is flushed when he pulls away.

“I love you too.” Benji says, beaming. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you.” Victor breathes, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth. “I really love you.”

Their lips meet again, sweet and affectionate, and Victor’s so happy he can finally say the word, and hear Benji say it back.  _ Love. _

Pilar clears her throat. “This is cute and all, but I kinda have to walk Adrian to a birthday party, and y’all are making out in front of the shoe rack.”

Victor laughs. “Deal with it.” He leans in to kiss Benji again. 

“Let the poor girl get her shoes.” Benji says, putting one hand on Victor’s chest.

He gestures for Pilar to walk through, and though she rolls her eyes at them, they both catch the edges of her fond smile as she walks away.

“Wow, I really do not want to let go of you right now.” Victor says, pushing Benji’s hair back.

“My parents aren’t home.” Benji responds cheekily.

Victor’s eyebrows shoot up. “Is that an invitation?”

Benji smiles at him. “If you want it to be.”

“I literally cannot think of anything else I’d rather do.” Victor grins.

Isabel looks shocked. “Spend the night? Victor, I don’t-”

“Let him, Isa.” Victor’s father says, giving them both a smile. “Victor’s responsible enough to handle himself, and he’s going to be an adult soon. We have to start letting him make his own decisions.”

She looks from the boys to her husband, throwing her hands up in the air. “Okay, then. Have fun, and please, be safe.”

Benji coughs quietly in the background as Victor grins.

In the car, Benji’s humming softly to himself when Victor’s phone buzzes.

“Oh, crap, I haven’t responded to Simon in like two weeks.”

Benji raises one eyebrow. “Really? What’s he saying?”

_ @simonspiersays sent a post. _

_ Yo, Victor, what the hell?? _

“He’s exclaiming loudly at the picture of us on my Instagram.” Victor responds, shaking his head and laughing.

_ ARE YOU GUYS OUT OF THE CLOSET BECAUSE THIS SEEMS PRETTY GAY _

He thumbs out a response, reading it aloud to Benji as he writes.

_ Yes :) _

_ Justin is crying. You’re probably going to get spammed with heart eye emojis in the comments _

On cue, the emojis come in, and Victor laughs out loud.

_ Thanks for the warning _

_ We’re all so proud of you, kid _

“Y’know, it’s pretty insane that you got Simon Spier to be your gay mentor by yelling at him.” Benji says, driving onto his street.

Victor scrunches his face. “You make it sound like he gave me a sex talk or something.”

Benji laughs, pulling into his driveway. “Come on.”

Ms. Albright looks at the clock with a sigh. She turns her gaze back to her computer, where an email alerts her of a new post on CreekSecrets.

“Oh, great. What am I gonna have to deal with today…” she mumbles under her breath.

_ Are Victor Salazar and Benji Campbell actually dating? See for yourself, because yes, they are, and it couldn’t be more adorable: _

“Hmm, what’s this…” she trails off, unsure what she’s seeing until the first picture loads.

_ Sophomore Victor Salazar has been receiving advice from Creekwood legend Simon Spier for months, and he says Simon is “the reason he’s coming out.” How cute! _

She holds a hand to her heart, remembering Victor’s first day of school when she detailed Simon’s journey to him. She had no idea how connected they would become, but she silently congratulates herself for a job well done.

Ms. Albright could feel the tears start to build up and she let out a small cheer for Victor, happy that he was able to be himself and have a great love story.

Benji leads Victor through the empty house and to his room by the hand. They sit on his bed, and he starts rubbing Victor’s shoulders.

“Mm. I can’t believe you heard me yell at my dad that I love you.” Victor says, leaning back into Benji’s touch.

“I was hoping it would be a little more romantic.” Benji confesses.

“Really? What didn’t you like about overhearing the unpacking of deep seated family issues?” Victor quips.

“I was going to take you to the spring carnival, go on the ferris wheel like Simon and Bram.” Benji starts, and Victor loves the soothing sound of his voice. “We could be that grossly cute couple that lives out clichés on purpose.”

Victor turns around, leaning in close. “We already are.” He says softly, leaning in to kiss Benji.

They tumble onto the bed, sharing breath, sharing space, sharing hearts, and when Victor sits up to pull off his shirt, Benji’s eyes are shining.

“I love you.” He breathes.

Victor thinks his heart is going to burst.

“I love you, too.” He responds, leaning back to kiss Benji, and it becomes more urgent, two people desperately professing their love for one another.

When they fall back onto the bed, sweaty and breathing hard, Victor finds Benji’s hand in the moonlight. Holding on to each other tightly, Victor presses a kiss to Benji’s head and thinks that he’s ready for anything the world has to throw at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit. I can't even... this one is over! I've been writing this fanfiction for a little over two weeks, and my life has kinda turned upside down since I started it, with writing being the only constant. I ADORE this show and just the Simonverse in general and I can't believe I've finished this story. I'm so sorry there hasn't been a chapter for a few days but I really needed to get this one right. Thank you to @Cyberbulky for help with Spanish phrasing and thank you so, so much to @jacksonnw for beta-ing this story! It wouldn't have been possible without you and I really appreciate all the amazing help. That said, the biggest thank you goes out to y'all, my readers, for supporting this little baby ficlet and boosting it to the stars. Please keep leaving me comments if you enjoy it, they fuel my soul and I love feedback. I will be writing more Vengi soon and more Simonverse VERY soon, so let me know what you want to see and know I already have something in the works. Thank you, thank you, thank you, I love you all <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so, so much for reading! I have three other Venji fics (Call Me Maybe, Five Times, One Time, and One Year Later) so check those out of you liked this one! Updates will hopefully be up every 1-2 days and will be getting much longer as the story progresses. I’m aiming for eight chapters, but who knows. Please comment if you enjoyed this as comments fuel my soul!


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